Officially old

Change from beginning of program: -1.2
Goal: 43 LBs to go
Activity: watching the Mavs lose
Temptation: beer
Fruit and veg: 3

How sad is this? I spent my New Year's Eve watching my current home team beat my old home team in basketball, then I came home and put away my Christmas tree.

I guess I really am old.

Eating was not too good today.

Breakfast: Fiber One pop tart and cherries

Morning snack: caramel corn

Lunch: salad with vinagrette on the side, then a fish burrito (fried fish with remoulade and cabbage wrapped in a flour tortilla) with salsa

Afternoon snack: three Reeses minis

Dinner: nachos at the game, then 3 slices Pizza Hut thin & crispy veggie lovers

Drinks: 4 beers at game, 2 at home

Evening snack: two Cellas

In other words, too much crap and not enough fruit and veg. Kind of like 2009.

Am I really old?

Change from beginning of program: -1.2
Goal: 43 LBs to go
Activity: spending $$
Temptation: Cellas Dark
Fruit and veg: 3

I received my AARP application a few days ago. I have been so upset that I haven't been able to discuss it.

Geez, Louise...I won't be 50 for 10 more months!

On the other hand, I can start socking away more money into my 401k. And AARP does have nice discounts...

But I'm not ready to be an old person, dammit!

On another note - I'm getting serious about this weight thing again. I have been eating with impunity for months and my stomach is protruding for all to see.

Breakfast: homemade veggie soup and 6 Cellas (yes, 6...because I was working at home today and they are right there in the cabinet)

Lunch: Red Lobster, because I wanted those delicious cheese biscuits. I had 3 1/2 biscuits. (Did I mention that I have been eating with impunity?) Popcorn shrimp. Salad with blue cheese dressing. I brought 1 1/2 biscuits and all of the baked potato home.

Afternoon snack: 6 more Cellas. Damn those Cellas! Why do they have to be so delicious?

Dinner: Sweet potatoes (not much). 4 Miller Lites.

And in between all that, I spent over $1500 at Home Depot on the bathroom renovation. Unfortunately, that is just a dent. This is gonna cost me...

When did subtitles get longer than the books?

Or is this what it takes to sell a book in the 21st century?

Because I'm a nerd, I keep a journal of all of the books I read (or listen to). I had gotten behind in writing my reviews, so I sat down tonight to catch up. The last three books I read/heard all had subtitles, and it took longer to write the title/subtitle in my journal than it did to write the review!

What happened to simple, powerful titles like The Grapes of Wrath and Cat's Cradle?

The most clever subtitle author is Jen Lancaster, with these gems:

• Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
• Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie is Not the Answer
• plus two more books with really long titles/subtitles and that contain the word "ass"

(I never noticed until now that all of her books have the word "ass" on the front cover.)

The books I entered in the journal tonight:

• The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry: Love, Laughter, and Tears in Paris at the World's Most Famous Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn
• Barack Like Me: The Chocolate Covered Truth by David Alan Grier and Alan Eisenstock
• I Met the Walrus: How a Day with John Lennon Changed My Life Forever by Jerry Levitan

Up next - a book with no subtitle! The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown.

What have I learned by writing this post? If I want to get a book deal, I need a good subtitle.

Drinking with abandon

Change from beginning of program: -1
Goal: 43 LBs to go
Activity: coughing
Temptation: sweets
Fruit and veg: 5

Holy crap - 12 days since my last post? I blame the holidays.

You do not want to know what I have eaten over the past 12 days. It has been a lot. It has been a lot of sugar and fat. It has not been pretty.

Over the weekend, I went to Big D for not one, not two, but three gift-opening sessions. And they were on opposite ends of the area, so I spent a good portion of the time in the car.

I stayed at my brother's house, where I always drink with abandon. I drink more when I'm around other people who are drinking. We stock up on beer and put the car keys away for the night. And we drink. We often play board games - including the Beatles Trivial Pursuit that I got for Christmas. We laugh - a lot.

In other words, we have a blast.

And I feel just a tad worn out the following day.

Three nights of that + a 3-year old with a nasty cough + over 600 miles in the car = one tired and coughing kitten

I'm taking it easy for the rest of the week to knock this cough out before it knocks me out.

And I cannot be upset with my beautiful niece, even if she did share her lung-rattling cough with me.

Why can't I have the perfect body?

Change from beginning of program: +.2 - holy crap!
Goal: 44 LBs to go
Activity: drooling over LeBron - the most perfect body of our time
Temptation: fudge
Fruit and veg: 5+

How is it that I am gaining weight?

It cannot be related to the fact that I'm baking something every night in December.

Or that I have no physical activity more strenuous than wrapping gifts.

Or that I'm drinking like it's going out of style.

Must be the weather.

Or the meds.

Can't be my diet. Check it out.

Breakfast: Because I overslept - again - and then spent an inordinate amount of time cutting today's treat (Rocky Road Bars), grabbed a ham and cheese kolache on the way to the office. Yes, ham. And cheese. Baked into a beautiful yeasty roll.

Morning snack(s): Satsuma. Good. Two pieces of fudge. Bad.

Lunch: Holiday celebration at local Cajun restaurant. From the appetizer platter: fried catfish strip, a few fried crawfish nuggets, and crab casserole - a delectable mixture of crab, stuffing, and cheese...glorious cheese. House salad with vinaigrette. Fish burrito with rice pilaf. A bite of blackberry cobbler.

Dinner: Chinese food before the basketball game. Egg roll smothered in duck sauce. Mixed vegetables with steamed rice. No fortune cookie - BASTARDS!

Game libations: Two beers. Then three more when I got home.

Late night snacks: Cream cheese icing (from icing a carrot cake) and brownie bits (from cutting the brownies that are going to the office tomorrow).

When is this going to end? Obviously, I'm not too worried about it, or I would do something. Something other than eat. And drink.

360 miles in the fog and rain - uphill all the way

Change from beginning of program: -1.8
Goal: 42 LBs to go
Activity: driving
Temptation: mimosas
Fruit and veg: 5+

Drove 360 miles (roundtrip to Austin for a meeting). Morning: fog. Afternoon: rain. Meh.

Got up an hour early to make it to Austin for a 9:00 conference call.

Breakfast: veg soup and multigrain bread. Two Cellas.

Snack: ham and cheese kolache from the bakery in La Grange where they make the best kolaches in the world

Lunch: shrimp with vegetables at a Chinese place in Austin. Hot and sour soup, some fried rice, egg roll, fortune cookie. My manager and I got the same fortune. Hidden meaning?? I don't know.

Dinner: Olive Garden with friend and her children. Salad, half a breadstick, about 1/3 of the capellini pomodoro. But it was really orichette pomodoro because they were out of capellini.

Evening: leftover bits of blueberry goo bars (variation of cranberry goo bars - instead of cranberries and walnuts, blueberries and pecans). Mimosas. Hey - I'm trying to drink all of that fresh satsuma juice before it goes bad. Get off me.

Still need to wrap gifts and get my cards done. Tomorrow is another day - another opportunity to drink and get to those tasks.

Massage and a movie

Change from beginning of program: ?
Goal: 40+ LBs to go
Activity: getting a massage
Temptation: chocolate
Fruit and veg: 5+

Cable guy arrived at 8:30 and woke me up, so I didn't get a chance to weigh first thing.

Breakfast: 2 strips of bacon

Lunch: seafood burrito, chips and salsa with my massage therapist after my massage

Dinner: 2 bowls of homemade vegetable soup with multigrain bread from Costco - where every damn person in Houston was shopping today

Evening snacks: fudge, Cellas, mimosas

I remember now why I don't drink orange juice - it does not get along with my stomach. For some reason, I can drink fresh grapefruit juice by the gallon but orange juice of any kind just kills me.

My massage therapist and I saw The Yes Men Fix the World. It was funny but depressing at the same time, much like Capitalism: A Love Story.

I managed to get in a bit of holiday shopping, in between grocery stores. It was kinda horrifying out there.

Saving satsumas from snow

Change from beginning of program: -1.0
Goal: 43 LBs to go
Activity: harvesting fruit - in the snow
Temptation: pretty much everything
Fruit and veg: 5+
Number of satsumas harvested: 125

All week, they have been forecasting snow. I don't believe the weathermen unless they say it will be hot.

Turns out they were right.

Before work, I decided to harvest satsumas before the big freeze. But it was sleeting, so I dropped that idea.

Came home from the office around 1:00 and picked as many as I could (125). At least 50 more are still on the tree, but they are not ripe yet. None of the grapefruit are ripe. Let's hope it doesn't freeze tonight because I really want that fruit.

Breakfast: potatoes from the company cafeteria

Lunch: tomato basil soup and Greek pizza

Dessert: hummingbird cake that I made for someone's birthday

Dinner: homemade vegetable soup and several mimosas made with the gallon (yes, gallon) of juice I squeezed from the satsumas. Mandarin oranges. It takes a lot of damn oranges to get a gallon of juice.

While I was juicing, Bigfoot commented that I was doing a lot of work to get just a little juice from each fruit. He was right. But it is damn good juice.

Another day, another 26 gifts wrapped

Change from beginning of program: -1.2
Goal: 43 LBs to go
Activity: being frustrated
Temptation: pecan squares
Fruit and veg: 2
Number of gifts wrapped: 26

Breakfast: Pecan squares. I'm going to call this recipe "Pecan Moaners" because as people tried them in my cube, they all moaned. Yes, they were that good.

Lunch: Indian buffet. Sadly, I had too much food to list.

Dinner: Leftover dill rice from the Persian restaurant yesterday. Satsuma.

Evening snack: Five beers and choco crumble bars (tomorrow's treat).

I'm almost finished wrapping gifts. As soon as they get done, it's time to move onto doing cards.

I love December.

I hate January. The colored lights come down. The sales end. Everyone is in a bad mood. I can't wait.

I am not the help desk

Change from beginning of program: -1.2
Goal: 43 LBs to go
Activity: being frustrated
Temptation: fudge
Fruit and veg: 3
Number of gifts wrapped: none

Overslept.

Cut the fudge to take to work and put it in a Beatles lunchbox. Picked up the lunchbox and discovered that it wasn't latched. Dropped 1/3 of the fudge on the floor. Cursed.

Breakfast: fudge

Morning snack: satsuma

Lunch: Persian restaurant. Flat bread with feta cheese, basil, and mint. Greek salad. Hummus. Dill rice.

Afternoon snack: fudge

Dinner: Two brown-n-serve rolls with butter. Beer. Leftover mac and cheese. Beer. Raw cauliflower. Beer.

Evening activity: Tried a new recipe, which is DE-LI-CIOUS. Crust of butter, powdered sugar, and flour. Filling of pecans, whipping cream, butter, brown sugar, and butter.

If I die tonight, I can say that I died happy because I ate those wonderful pecan bars!!

Other evening activity: Helping Bigfoot with his computer. Again. I hate updates. He loves them. Of course he loves updating because he doesn't do the work. I do. For the past two hours, I have been trying to update a PC that says it has known issues. KNOWN ISSUES. To me, that means "give up." To him, that means "keep trying until you make K want to choke someone."

Another day, another slew of presents to wrap

Change from beginning of program: -3.4
Goal: 40 LBs to go
Activity: going back to work
Temptation: fudge
Fruit and veg: 3
Number of gifts wrapped: dozens

Breakfast: Fiber One pop tart and one satsuma

Morning snack: Two Reeses minis

Lunch: Mexican restaurant where the waiter has the hots for me. Chips and salsa and green salsa, cheese enchilada, tostada.

Dinner: Sweet potatoes, green beans with new potatoes, stuffing, two brown-n-serve rolls with butter. Two Cellas.

Evening snack: Made fudge and had to test it. Three beers. Can't wrap gifts without alcohol.

Satsumas

Change from beginning of program: -3.4
Goal: 40 LBs to go
Activity: pulling weeds and harvesting satsumas
Temptation: dark chocolate Cellas
Fruit and veg: 1, so far
Satsumas harvested: 75

Satsuma season is here. Got 75 today. Some of them are rust colored, but TAMU assures me that it is harmless.

It looks like I didn't even touch the tree. I got 190 fruit last year, and it looks like I can top that this year.

The grapefruit are not quite ready.

Wrapper's delight

Change from beginning of program: -3.4
Goal: 40 LBs to go
Activity: driving and wrapping gifts
Temptation: beer
Fruit and veg: 1
Number of gifts wrapped: dozens

Although I have been on a binge for practically the entire month of November, I'm holding steady - weight-wise. I'm scared that it's going to catch up with me any day now.

Today, I drove to Lufkin for the third time in 8 days. The first trip was to help my sister after she had surgery. The second trip delivered furniture. Today's trip was all about getting gifts ready for our father's house. You know - the house with 12 children and 6 grandchildren.

After our wrapping extravaganza in East Texas, I wrapped some more at home. If I weren't out of tape, I would still be wrapping.

Goals for tomorrow

• Buy tape
• Finish wrapping the gifts I have now so I can see what else I need to buy
• Work in the yard a bit - weeding the vegetable beds
  
• Eat a fruit and/or vegetable - preferably more than one
• Rest up before my return to work
• Watch "Dexter" and see what happens after the major cliff-hanger last week

Wine makes it all better

Change from beginning of program: -3.0
Goal: 41 LBs to go
Activity: wine
Temptation: everything
Fruit and veg: 5+

Today is the third Thursday in November, Beaujolais Nouveau Day. Who knew?

My week of meetings is winding down, and we had a team dinner at a local French restaurant tonight. Because it was Beaujolais Nouveau Day, we had plenty of fruity red wine. In leue of dessert, I had a glass of champagne.

Yeah, it's been that kind of week.

I found the missing gold crown, and it is back in my head.

Yesterday, during a break, I literally banged my head on a door and told someone that banging my head was more productive than sitting in that meeting. It was kinda horrible.

But it's nearly over. And I got to have a lot of wine.

And now I'm having more.

And after tomorrow, I'm out of the office for a week.

Things are looking up!

Today's food log...

Breakfast: Pumpernickel and hummus. Half a banana. Pomegranate juice.

Morning snack: Two Reeses minis and one Cadbury truffle.

Lunch: Veggie chef salad

Afternoon snack: Hummingbird cake (for my manager's birthday). This may be my favorite cake. I can eat that cream cheese icing by the bowl-full.

Dinner: Onion soup and a wonderful main dish of crab cakes, angel hair pasta, and squash. Bread and butter. Wine.

Evening snack: Sparkling wine at home.

Ummmm....bubbles....

Losing the crown

Change from beginning of program: -3.0
Goal: 41 LBs to go
Activity: drinking heavily
Temptation: everything
Fruit and veg: 4

This post was going to be about how I was a P-I-G today, but then it went south.

As I was flossing, I realized that a fucking crown had come off my tooth. And I didn't even notice!

Obviously, I drank too much at the basketball game. To lose a damn gold crown - and not notice - is pretty bad.

My plans this week involved all day, every day marketing meetings. Now maybe I can get out of those to go to the dentist.

How sad is it that I would rather go to the dentist than go to the marketing meetings?

Eating my way into a better mood?

Change from beginning of program: -3.0
Goal: 41 LBs to go
Activity: nothing special
Temptation: everything
Fruit and veg: 5

I had lunch at the Indian buffet last week with two thin girls, and one of them said that she was "trying to eat my way into a better mood." As if that would work...

but I keep trying...

Today was a total bust on eating well.

Breakfast: Leftover cheese biscuit from Red Lobster. Pear.

Morning snack: Not 3, not 4, but 5 Reeses minis.

Lunch: Salad with a wonderful, oily vinagrette. One bread stick. 75% of an 8 inch margarita pizza.

Dinner: Many chips and lots of salsa. Fish taco. Avocado stuffed with shrimp, encased in cheese, and deep fried. A few bites of rice, and some Mexican veggies. Three Tecates and a half glass of wine.

Evening snack: Two more beers. Two Fiber One pop tarts. Two cocktail chocolates from Las Vegas.

How do I feel? Like CRAP.

And I have had a low-grade headache all day.

What will I do tomorrow? Sit on my fat ass in meetings all day.

This is not going so well.

Driving

Change from beginning of program: -4.8
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: driving
Temptation: burrito
Fruit and veg: 3

Traveling and being out of my routine got me out of the blogging habit.

And I ate - a lot.

Now that I'm back to more or less where I was when I left off, I'm going to try to start blogging again.

Breakfast: Fiber One Pop Tart at home. Country potatoes and a Reeses at work.

Lunch: A half seafood burrito at Berryhill. I had about 2/3 of it, after some chips and salsa. That burrito stayed with me for hours. It attended a meeting with me, and it was as bored as I was.

I drove 30 miles to the Nissan dealership to get a new stereo system installed while I'm still under warranty. I drove there last Thursday so they could tell me to come back. I drove to the same part of town on Saturday to attend the world's lamest chocolate and wine "festival" with my sister. I drove today because the new stereo was in. I sat for an hour, and the service technician informed me that the system they received from Nissan was defective. So I sat some more while they reinstalled the system that cuts in and out. And I get to go back next week and sit some more while they install a newer system.

Dinner: Tossed salad with blue cheese dressing and part of a loaded baked potato.

Snacks: Peanut M&Ms and beer.

Watched the Rockets go up by 13 over the Mavs in the second quarter and then lose by almost 20. They are who we thought they were. But when the Rockets play the Mavs, I win no matter what.

Champagne buff-it

Change from beginning of program: ?
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: eating
Temptation: buffet
Fruit and veg: 4 so far - and that was just breakfast

The best part of Las Vegas is the buffets. And Sunday is the best day for buffets.

My champagne buffet included unlimited mimosas, boiled shrimp, smoked salmon, smoked trout, asparagus, tomatoes, crudites, grapefruit, pineapple, macaroni and cheese, fried shrimp, apple crepe, and cheese blintzes drowned in strawberry sauce. I passed on the cheeses and about 100 other things.

The title of this post comes from the best movie ever, "A Hard Day's Night." In the early part of the movie, Ringo receives an invitation to go gambling where they have "baccarat, (some French word I don't know), and a champagne buff-it."

Observations from Las Vegas

Lots of people have tattoos.

Lots of tattoos.

Bad tattoos.

Why?

Oh - I realized that I lose a lot of street cred when I wear my glasses on a chain around my neck.

Don't hate the old blind woman...

Viva frickin Las Vegas

Change from beginning of program: -5.2 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: trolling Las Vegas
Temptation: ice cream, beer
Fruit and veg: 5

Breakfast: Kale and black-eyed peas

Lunch: Subway veggie sandwich at the airport. Plus several Reeses minis. Plus two 100 calorie packages of Cheese Nips on the plane.

Dinner: Salad from the House of Blues - field greens with blue cheese and pecans and some wonderful dressing

Evening snacks: 5 beers (over several hours) and a waffle cone with ice cream and Reeses

Bigfoot waffled for weeks on whether he would accompany me to Las Vegas for a work conference. He announced about a month ago that he would accompany me. But he has apparently regretted it ever since. He mysteriously came down with a cold (I says it's allergies, but he insists that he doesn't have allergies) last night. I gave him Advil PM, and he said it helped.

When we arrived in LV, he asked for more medication. I gave him Benadryl and Advil, which he insists doesn't work. I keep telling him that Advil PM is simply Advil with Benadryl, but he does not believe me.

As soon as we checked into the hotel, I had to go to the conference center to get our booth built. When I returned to the room, I asked him what he wanted for dinner and I suggested going to the House of Blues, which is in the lobby of our hotel. He said that he was too weak to walk downstairs and eat. So I went downstairs and ordered dinner and brought it back to the room. While waiting for the food to be prepared, I slammed two Newcastle Brown Ales (my all-time favorite beer).

After we ate, I asked if he minded if I left. He said that he did not, but he was lying. I left.

Not one, but TWO different men tried to pick me up when I was sitting at the bar and gambling.

Now I'm back in the room listening to sniffles. This is gonna be a fun four days....

Ice cream for dinner

Change from beginning of program: -5.2 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: assembling a bookshelf
Temptation: ice cream, beer
Fruit and veg: 4

Started with a healthy breakfast of pumpernickel with hummus and a pear.

It went downhill from there.

Total of 5 Reeses minis throughout the day.

Lunch at Chuy's - chips and salsa, bean and cheese nachos with guacamole (and extra lettuce and tomato).

Dinner - banana split at 59 Diner

Snacks - beer and Triscuits with sharp cheddar cheese

All in all, a great day!

My day in prison

Change from beginning of program: -8.4 LBs
Goal: 35 LBs to go
Activity: not much
Temptation: fats
Fruit and veg: 3

Because I was exhausted last night, I was hoping to sleep in. But I awoke at 5:30 and could not go back to sleep until I moved to the other room and watched an hour of "Funny Girl." When I got up at 8:30, I was already tired.

I had a Fiber One pop tart before heading to the farmer's market. Because of my recent travels, this was my first trip to the market in a month. In that month, the crops all changed. I loaded up on kale, yams, and black-eyed peas. Yum!

For lunch, I met my friend and her children at Red Lobster, where I had a salad (with blue cheese dressing), a cheese biscuit, popcorn shrimp, and a loaded baked potato.

We visited a new branch of the Houston Museum of Natural History which just opened in an old prison...the prison where Leadbelly was incarcerated and wrote "Midnight Special." The exhibits were still being built, so there wasn't much to see.

Baskin Robbins has finally done what should have been done years ago - combined Reeses peanut butter cups and vanilla ice cream already - no need for mix-ins! I had one scoop in a sugar cone.

Dinner - guacamole and chips. Then mac and cheese. Then dried cherries.

And to top off the day, dying my hair and ironing. And watching the HBO production of "Grey Gardens." Talk about a dysfunctional mother-daughter relationship.

Another thrilling day

Change from beginning of program: -6.2 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: working
Temptation: Mexican food
Fruit and veg: 4

Breakfast: Nothing. I had to fast for my periodic blood work. It's time to check my thyroid.

Lunch: Lebanese Luby's - vegetarian sampler with many different veggies and salads. And hummus and rice.

Dinner: Chuy's. Not too many chips (surprisingly). Two shrimp tacos and a little bit of rice. I was full to the point of pain.

Evening activity: Grocery shopping. I bought next to nothing because I was so full.

Then I hit my fourth Marshalls in three days and finally found the pair of shoes I wanted - in the color I wanted.

Get this - the weatherman just said that we are much drier than yesterday. The humidity is "only" 63%.

My evening with Bono and the boys

Change from beginning of program: -4.8 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: recovering
Temptation: chocolate cake, guacamole (not at the same time)
Fruit and veg: 4

So last night, my little sister and I saw U2 in concert. This was the third time we have seen them (spanning the past 17 years). The show was great, although Bono seemed a bit tired.

We drank a lot of beer. A. Lot. Of. Beer.

Did I say that we drank a lot?

I was feeling a bit crappy. Not quite ground-up dog puke bad, but not on top of the world either.

I turned to my faithful friends who have helped me through many similar situations - carbs. Wonderful carbs. Breakfast consisted of two slices of pumpernickel bread with cheese melted on top. And some chocolate cake.

The reason my sister and I saw U2 and drank so much is that we were celebrating our birthdays. The concert fell one week after she turned 40 and one week before I will turn 39. Again. So the chocolate cake was a joint birthday treat.

By mid-morning, I was feeling better - despite the fact that I spent 90 minutes on conference calls.

For lunch, I turned to another proven hangover helper: Mexican food. Chips and salsa and green sauce, and bean and cheese tostadas with extra lettuce and tomatoes.

Dinner: Leftover macaroni and cheese (with the pasta purchased in Rome). And then because I had some avocados that were at the peak of ripeness, I made some guacamole and ate it with chips.

For good measure, I had some ice cream later in the evening.

And all of this on the day before I go to the doctor and have to get on the scale.

Hey, I can't feel too bad. Even Bono is getting a bit pudgy. And he runs around the stage - and around the world - all the time.

Observations of Rome

Stop signs are optional. At least according to every taxi driver I had.

House wine is the good stuff, not the cheap stuff like it is here.

Rome is full of tourists.

Seafood is on display in many restaurants - fish heads and all.

Back to reality (again)

Change from beginning of program: -6.8 LBs
Goal: 36 LBs to go
Activity: catching up on last week's TV
Temptation: ice cream
Fruit and veg: 3

The good news - I did not gain weight while in Rome. All that walking must have paid off.

Being gone for a week took a toll, and I took a day off work today to catch up on sleep and TV shows. I handled the grocery shopping and laundry yesterday.

Breakfast/lunch: Homemade mac and cheese, made with pasta from the grocery store in Rome. Pear.

Snack: Ice cream

Dinner: Fresh spinach and a pear

Snack: Ice cream

Another snack: More of that delicious mac and cheese

Not looking forward to work tomorrow...

Still eating

Change from beginning of program: -4.8 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go
Activity: doing laundry and ironing
Temptation: the best food in the world
Fruit and veg: 4

The binge continues...

Breakfast: Two slices of pumpernickel with hummus.

Morning snack: Four Reeses minis at work.

Lunch: The best food in the world at Churrascos. Plantain chips with oily, garlicky, delectable sauce. Salad with creamy dressing. Beef (yes, beef - again) with creamy sauce. Taquito with cheese and peppers. Fried yucca and grilled carrots. I left there as full as a tick.

Dinner: Our favorite seafood restaurant. Wonderful appetizer of avocado, tomato, and shrimp with tortilla chips. To continue my record of eating food that was just too damn fattening, stuffed shrimp (fried) with fries.

Why do they call it stuffed shrimp? The shrimp are not stuffed; they are covered with a delicious mixture of crabmeat and some kind of breading and then deep fried. It's more like the crabmeat breading is stuffed with shrimp. Another mystery to ponder.

Evening snack: Beer. Lots.

I'm packed and ready to leave for Rome in less than 7 hours.

I plan to eat wonderful meals, drink wonderful wine, and see wonderful sights.

Oh yeah, and work.

Did. Not. Stop. Eating.

The binge that began this morning did not end.

Lunch: Chuy's, where I ate way too many chips. I did restrain myself and order just one chile relleno (a wonderfully delicious cheese-filled pepper dipped in batter and deep fried) with rice and beans. And guacamole on the side. With more chips.

Hey - that guacamole counts as a fruit! I probably had another serving of vegetables in the amount of salsa I had.

Dinner: Leftover baked potato. Ice cream. Cheese and crackers. Beer.

Feel like crap.

Not ready for the trip yet. I mean, I'm ready to get the hell out of dodge for a while, but I have about a zillion things I need to do here before I go. I could easily be up all night tomorrow night, which would make it easier to sleep on the plane.

Can't. Stop. Eating.

Change from beginning of program: -5.8 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go
Activity: chewing
Temptation: got sugar?
Fruit and veg: 1 (so far)

Woke up hungry. Had two slices of pumpernickel with hummus at home. And a brownie.

Got to work. Had a small can of cranberry juice because I woke up with a raw throat (allergies). But I cannot get sick just two days before leaving for Rome.

Then had two Reeses minis out of habit.

Then had most of a jelly donut because a manager insisted that I have it.

It's only 9:15 a.m. and I have had most of my daily allotment of calories.

Bosc pear = wood chips

Change from beginning of program: -5.8 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go
Activity: 1 hour pulling weeds
Temptation: cheesy burrito and baked potato (different meals - thank gawd)
Fruit and veg: 3

With decluttering, the State Fair, and prepping for Rome, I have fallen out of the habit of writing. Time to get back into it!

Breakfast: Pumpernickel with hummus. Bosc pear - my first one ever. I love pears. I like them best when they are crunchy. But this pear took "crunchy" to a new level. Eating it was like eating slivers of wood. I gave up when my jaws wore out.

Then I had some brownie.

Lunch: Chips and salsa. Seafood burrito that was very very cheesy. In other words, delicious!

Afternoon snack: Three Reeses minis.

Dinner: Giant loaded baked potato. Raspberries. Two homemade chocolate chip macadamia cookies.

Evening snack: Lime sherbet and Fresca float.

In between all this, I spent an hour sweating and pulling about a million weeds. And then watching the first episode of "Flash Forward" at www.abc.com. And then watching "Glee" on TV. "Glee" is wickedly funny...and KristenChenowith was a great guest star as a drunken slut. She asked a student for some Nyquil, because "I need a pickup." In other words, my role model.

Clutter, cheese, and chocolate

Change from beginning of program: -7.0 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go
Activity: decluttering
Temptation: cheese with every meal
Fruit and veg: 2

Breakfast: Leftover capellini pomodoro from the Olive Garden last night. With fresh parmesan - lots of it - and a breadstick.

Worked at home today because I could get to a stopping point on the clutter clean-up while on calls. I made it to that point, but I still have a long way to go. I could not face it tonight. Next week, back to the grind.

Lunch: Pimento cheese sandwich on pumpernickel and a pear.

Snack: Skittles

Dinner: Pizza Hut delivery. Thin and crispy veggie lover's. Six (that's right, six) slices.

I had some batter from the brownies I made for the Ghirardelli contest at the State Fair on Saturday. They taste like winners to me!

Memory Lane

Change from beginning of program: -6.6 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go
Activity: decluttering
Temptation: cheese and wine
Fruit and veg: 1?

Breakfast: half a pimento cheese sandwich on pumpernickel

Morning snack: brownies that I made last night

Lunch: Mexican food, including many chips with salsa, 1 1/2 cheese enchiladas, and about half of the rice and black beans that came with the enchiladas. And some guac.

Dinner: pinot grigio and Cracker Barrel Extra Sharp on Triscuits (at about 10:00). I had spent the evening cleaning closets and strolling down memory lane. I must have kept EVERY letter or card I ever got since I graduated from high school. I'm now culling through them and finding some real gems.

This is gonna take a while...

Get outta here

Drugs? Being used for medical treatments?

What is the world coming to?

Oh yeah...that's why drugs were invented - to make people feel better.

Bronzer on my roots

Yep.

You read that right.

My roots are out of control. I have not had time to cover them in dye this week. So tonight, before going to eat the best food ever, I put bronzer on to cover them.

It actually worked.

I'll be doing the same thing tomorrow (and every day until I can get 90 minutes to dedicate to dye).

The best food ever - part 4

Change from beginning of program: -6.4 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go
Activity: eating
Temptation: the best food in the world - and wine
Fruit and veg: 4

Sometimes I wonder why I'm not losing weight.

Then I remember that I have eaten at the best restaurant ever 4 times in about as many weeks.

Tonight, it was to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday. While I brought home most of the dessert and about half of my entree, I ate the entire appetizer (crab claws drowned in a butter sauce) and had half a bottle of wine. Plus another glass of wine with dessert. Plus another glass of wine when I got home.

But - damn - that food was good.

I've still got it

Change from beginning of program: -6.2 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go
Activity: wrapping Christmas presents
Temptation: nothing
Fruit and veg: 5

I'm still in shock. A waiter gave me his phone number and told me that he wasn't married.

I have been going to this restaurant about once a week for a few months. My book and I went to lunch today, and a waiter that I have had a few times greeted me by name and told me that he would be taking care of me.

He told me that he would not be working at this restaurant for much longer and that he would tell me later where he was going. Then before I left, he wrote his phone number on a business card and handed it to me. And told me that he wasn't married.

This has not happened to me in so long that I did not know how to react. I just smiled and nodded. Then got into my car and wondered what brought that on.

It's good to know that someone still finds me attractive.

Or maybe he's a serial killer, and I'm his typical target.

Oh well...

Obviously, I had Mexican food for lunch. I had a pear dipped in fat free caramel dip for dinner. Normal breakfast and only 2 Reeses minis and a banana at work.

The allergies are not as bad today. I had enough energy to start wrapping Christmas presents. Now I need to take out a loan to ship them.

These are a few of my favorite things - cosmetics and beer

Change from beginning of program: -4.8 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go

Activity: 1 hour in the yard

Temptation: brownies, beer
Fruit and veg: 4

Breakfast: pumpernickel with hummus, brownie

Lunch: Mexican - chips and salsa and green sauce, cheese enchilada, bean tostada, guacamole, some rice and beans

Dinner: whole wheat spaghetti with homemade tomato sauce, parmesan cheese

Evening snack: brownie, 5 beers, handful of Skittles

Bigfoot gave the baseball tickets back, so I was able to skip the game. My beer was much cheaper at home.

Instead of going to a sporting event, I went to Neimans to get an Estee Lauder gift with purchase.

The yard work was therapeutic. I fertilized, watered, hoed up weeds, and turned a lot of dirt in the compost pile. I must have lost 5 pounds of sweat. Which I sucked back in with the beer.

Watched the latest episode of my new favorite show - Glee. You must watch it.

No sleep + meetings = grumpy Pink

Change from beginning of program: -3.4 LBs
Goal: 40 LBs to go

Activity: 1.5 miles/31 minutes on the treadmill

Temptation: brownies
Fruit and veg: 3

Days after drinking are a challenge because I seem to be much hungrier.

It didn't help that we were awoken at 3:00 a.m. by a persistent chirping sound. It was coming from the ceiling fan, but Bigfoot insists (still) that it was a bug in the attic making the noise. Something chirped every time the fan made a rotation, and the chirping stopped when we turned the fan off. But there's no way that the fan was making the noise.

I gave up and slept in the other room.

Then I overslept - on a day where I was doing a presentation at 8:00. What a way to start the day.

My PC took a full 25 minutes to boot up and be fully functional. The presentation went fine, but I had another seven (seven!!) meetings, including one at 4:30 - and I did not even need to be there. I don't know why the VP invited me to that meeting because it had NOTHING to do with my job.

I love my job.

Breakfast: pumpernickel and hummus, peanut M&Ms

Morning snack: Three Reeses minis. I got these at Target along with some of the newly remastered Beatles CDs. Sadly, I was unable to listen to those CDs because I was on the freakin' phone ALL DAY.

Lunch: cheese sandwich on rye and a few chips

Dinner: Leftover veggies from the best restaurant in the world

Evening snack: brownies. A visiting manager asked me if I was planning on baking anything while he was in town. Sounds like a big hint to me...

Tomorrow: another Astros game. So I can have something salty and beer, ice cream and beer, Skittles and beer, and beer and beer. Woo-hoo!

Good start, crap finish

Change from beginning of program: -4.6 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go

Activity: walking around baseball stadium, looking for someone to give an extra ticket to

Temptation: Skittlebrau
Fruit and veg: 4

Breakfast: One slice pumpernickel with hummus, strawberries

Morning snack: Two 3 Musketeers minis

Lunch: The best food in the world (at Churrasco's - the best restaurant in Houston). Fried plantain chips with churrasco sauce and papaya sauce. Salad with the house dressing - a creamy cilantro wonder. Entree of the most tender beef, covered in a creamy jalapeno sauce. Sides - grilled carrots, grilled zucchini, and a bit of rice.

At 4:45, I got in the car and literally had some Astros tickets thrown into my lap. So I went to a baseball game tonight (and didn't get to any of the 900 things on my to-do list). Baseball games are NOT good for my diet. I had nachos and beer, then Skittles and beer, then a helmet sundae and beer, then just beer. When I got home, I had more beer, and strawberries.

One positive note - when I ordered the helmet sundae, I asked for one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate. The server told me that I was entitled to three scoops of ice cream, but I stuck to my guns and had just two.

Big freakin' woo...

Tomorrow is another day...and another chance to overeat...

Nacho average weekend

Change from beginning of program: -4.6 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go

Activity: 1 mile on the treadmill, plus ironing

Temptation: peanut M&Ms
Fruit and veg: 5

The long weekend was pretty uneventful. I did manage to get to two movies and to read most of a good book. And I was able to sleep. Aahhh, wonderful sleep.

Ate at Chuy's twice (by myself - with a book) both times. All other meals and snacks were consumed within the confines of the Mobud Manor.

I've been in a weird place with meals for a while now. I don't know what I want for dinner, so I graze. And I crave chocolate something fierce. Rather than breaking down and buying some of the good stuff, I eat just about everything else in the house. But if I buy the good stuff, it will call me and I'll eat it all. If I don't have it in the house, I end up eating a lot of things that don't satisfy me. I had the peanut M&Ms in the house because I had some coupons for free packages. I cannot say "no" to something that is both chocolate and free.

Observation: I have been drinking more than usual for the past several weeks, including Friday night. Since then, I haven't had the urge to drink. I also have not been to work since then. I can only conclude that work is driving me to drink.

I have gotten lazy about tracking my food, so here is today's log:

Breakfast: 1 slice pumpernickel with hummus

Lunch: Chuy's - chips and salsa, bean and cheese nachos with guacamole, lettuce, and tomatoes

Afternoon snack: Fiber One pop tart

Dinner: squash and pear

Evening snack: peanut M&Ms

Tomorrow will challenging because I'll be cramming 5 day's worth of work into 4 days in the office. Ugh.

It Might Get Loud

The most appropriately titled movie I have seen in a while is It Might Get Loud. I am a big fan of The Edge, and who can deny that Jimmy Page is one of the greatest guitarists ever? Jack White - not so much, but he was entertaining.

I was disappointed to learn that The Edge gets his distinctive sound from pedals, amps, and other technology. I thought he was just that talented that he could make all of those sounds on his own. But I loved seeing him explain it all.

The review in the local newspaper gave this movie 1.5 stars (out of 4). I'm glad I didn't believe them. It was a very fun movie.

This is why I don't work from home full time

Change from beginning of program: -4.4 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go

Activity: supervising workmen

Temptation: pizza, beer (not at the same time)
Fruit and veg: 0 - nada - zip - zero - nothing - goose egg - embarrassing!

When I work from home, I'm often "working" from home.

Today, I actually worked and I got a lot done.

But the main reason I don't want to "work" from home full time is that I would soon weigh 300 pounds. Easy access to the kitchen is not a good thing.

When I get frustrated, I eat. When I'm working, I get frustrated a lot.

I managed to eat a whole lot of crap today.

Breakfast: I started the morning with 2 Fiber One pop tarts.

Morning snack: Handful of chocolate chips.

Lunch: Pizza delivery. 3 slices of thin crust veggie lovers pizza. 3 breadsticks with creamy Italian dressing.

Dinner: 2 slices of pizza. 6 beers.

And I wonder why my intestines are unhappy with me.

On the bright side, I have a nice new bathroom sink. And I have replaced every window in the house. It took more than a year, but they are done. Now I just need to replace the carpet, paint the interior, completely redo the master bath, etc. etc.

It never ends.

I'm gonna live forever

My strategy of keeping my body well padded is going to pay off!

I am weak.

Change from beginning of program: -4.4 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go

Activity: drinking

Temptation: wine
Fruit and veg: 4

I know I'm weak.

Breakfast: Multi-grain bread with hummus. Blueberries. Reeses peanut butter cup and two 3 Musketeers minis at work.

Morning snack: Two cups of green tea. Anything that tastes that bad has to be good for me.

Lunch: Salad with pecan-crusted tilapia. Balsamic vinaigrette on the side. Delicious!

Dinner: I called a meeting at a wine bar. Had two glasses of wine there and some cheese and crackers. At home, more wine (prosecco) and hummus on multi-grain bread. And string cheese. And a pear dipped in fat-free caramel sauce.

Why can't I let the chocolate go?
Why do I love wine so much?

Not normally a fan of tattoos, but

Dave Navarro is the exception to my no-tattoo rule.

Dang - he is hot!

And he can play the guitar quite well. For me. Anytime.

I (heart) Brett Far-va-ra

Change from beginning of program: -3.2 LBs
Goal: 41 LBs to go

Activity: 1 mile on the treadmill - hey, it's a start

Temptation: candy
Fruit and veg: 5

I went to the Texans game last night to see my would-be boyfriend, Brett Favre (who kicked the Texans' ass, by the way).

Football game = way too much beer

Way too much beer = overeating the following day

Still puffy, but not as much.

Breakfast: Multi-grain bread with hummus. Watermelon.

Morning snack: 1 Reeses peanut butter cup and 1 Almond Joy log. In other words, a total of an entire candy bar.

Lunch: I needed cheese. Lots of cheese. So I headed to a Mexican restaurant and ordered a combo dinner with a cheese enchilada, bean tostada, rice, beans, and guacamole. I had a boatload of chips before the meal arrived. And I nearly choked myself laughing while reading The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Dinner: Tomato. Then whole wheat angel hair pasta with light butter and lots of parmesan cheese. And watermelon.

Craving chocolate, but nothing suitable in the house.

Have sworn off alcohol until the weekend. But I will have a beer tomorrow at a work happy hour. So I guess I haven't really sworn off alcohol. Oh well.

From bad to worse

Change from beginning of program: -4.4 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go

Activity: driving

Temptation: fried food
Fruit and veg: 3

I'm starting to wonder if I'm subconsciously trying to eat more - and more dodgy - food every day. It's getting bad.

Breakfast - black-eyed peas and watermelon. Is that a Southern meal or what?

Snack in the car as I drove to Lufkin - Almond Joy (whole thing) and a Butterfinger mini

Lunch - Olive Garden. Salad. Fried lasagna - that's right - pasta wrapped around cheese, then fried, then served over alfredo sauce. Shrimp dish that included angel hair pasta, tomatoes, and a buttery sauce. I did split it with my sister, but it was still a lot of pasta...and butter. Several bites of a chocolate cheesecake-like dessert.

Snack - birthday cake (chocolate cake with chocolate icing) and rocky road ice cream and two beers. It was nephew #3's birthday, and we followed the tradition of him decorating his own cake. He wasn't really into that, but 2-year-old niece was all over it. She decorated her own "cake" - a paper plate with a layer of chocolate icing. She added about a million sprinkles. And loved every minute of it. She insisted on having a bath afterward because she hates to be sticky. She was pretty damned sticky after that experience.

Dinner - I'm ashamed to write this. I was facing a long drive home. I was nearing catatonia because of the teenager's hormones and the toddler's energy. I stopped at a Whataburger, mainly to pee, but I decided to order a Whatacatch meal. The menu said it was a filet of fish on a jumbo bun with tartar sauce, lettuce, and pickles. The total came to something over $7, which seemed high, but I never buy fast food so I don't know how much it costs these days. After several minutes, the cook came out of the kitchen and asked if I wanted a sandwich. I explained that I did - as that's what was on the menu. Apparently, the cashier had ordered the wrong thing. Long story short (too late), I got a sandwich with two fish filets, cheese, and tartar sauce. And fries. I ate all of the sandwich and about half of the fries. That was interesting - with my standard transmission and darkness and roads with deer crossing signs.

Holy crap! I just looked up the nutritional info on this debacle. With just one filet and no cheese and the regular sized bun, the sandwich had 460 calories. So my version had about 1000 calories. Plus fries. Even Homer Simpson would feel guilty after eating that.

And I wonder why I'm so swollen that I feel like I'm going to pop at any second.

I'm really tempted to stick a pin in my finger to see if it will relieve some of the pressure from all of this water retention. It makes me think that my hormones are fluctuating again. UGH.

I did manage to hit the farmer's market and a roadside stand, so I plan to have some fresh veggies tomorrow. I just need to lay off the sweets and fats.

When will this binge end?

Fattening Friday

Change from beginning of program: -4.8 LBs
Goal: 39 LBs to go

Activity: jumping up and down in elation over winning a blue ribbon at the State Fair of Texas

Temptation: Mexican food, fried food, beer (I did not resist)
Fruit and veg: 5+

This was a frustrating week. Work was particularly challenging, and I had dinner at restaurants 3 of the past 5 nights. Not good for losing weight.

But the week ended on a positive note: I won the blue ribbon for picante sauce at the State Fair of Texas. This makes me a back-to-back champ. I can say that I make the best hot sauce in Texas.

What do I win? A blue ribbon and bragging rights for the rest of my life.

Woo-hoo!

Sorry - I can't believe it. The results are not posted online yet. But I got a letter in the mail that said my place was "1."

Anyway - another dieting day down the drain...

Breakfast - hummus and pumpernickel (just 1 slice) and raspberries.

Morning snack - green apple

Lunch - Mexican food. Chips and green sauce (tomatillos and avocado). Veggie burrito filled with black beans and several veggies, but also cheese - covered in cream sauce. Instead of rice and beans, I had lettuce and tomatoes. And guacamole.

Dinner - our favorite seafood place. Appetizer of avocado, tomato, shrimp, and crab, served with tortilla chips. Stuffed crab and stuffed shrimp with fries. Why does fried food have to taste so good? If it tasted nasty, we would all be thin.

Evening - Although I told myself all day that I would not drink tonight (to give my poor liver a break), I had to have a beer to celebrate my win. And to help break down that fried food. And to act as a diuretic because I am still SWOLLEN like an effing balloon. And because I survived the week. And because I like beer.

Tomorrow's challenge - a trip to the country to celebrate nephew #3's 13th birthday. I'm sure too much food will be involved.

Are they insane?

A year without shopping?

The only way that would happen for me is if I were imprisoned and had no internet access.

It gives me the chills just to think about it. ARGH!

Self absorbent

Change from beginning of program: -2.8 LBs?? - Goin' the wrong way, Bubba
Goal: 41 LBs to go

Activity: sweating and holding myself back from choking someone

Temptation: the best food ever leftovers
Fruit and veg: 3

I am so damn swollen, I might just pop.

Beer is a diuretic...right?

Challenging day at work because a coworker has convenient memory loss. And is arrogant.

Lunch: Indian buffet. I hadn't been there in about 6 months, and all of the staff greeted me warmly. My companion was impressed.

Dinner: Leftovers of the best food ever are almost as good as the first go-round.

Because we have had intermittent rain showers during August, I have gotten lax about watering the yard. Bigfoot informed me last night that all of the progress I had made with the grass in the front yard was disappearing. So I had to start the watering routine again. Ugh. It's not the watering that takes up my time. It's the weeding and other time wasters that I see only when I'm in the yard watering.

The best food ever

Change from beginning of program: -5.8 LBs
Goal: 38 LBs to go

Activity: sitting on my fat arse in meetings

Temptation: the best food ever
Fruit and veg: 5+

Breakfast: hummus on pumpernickel. Raspberries. So far, so good.

Lunch: Veggie chef salad, dressing on the side. Still good.

Afternoon: Half a brownie that I baked last night.

Dinner: Team event at the best restaurant in town.

• 3 glasses of sparkling chardonnay
• Appetizer: fried plantain chips dipped in chimichurri sauce (like pesto, but made with parsley and garlic instead of basil and pine nuts)
• Appetizer: crab claws in creamy butter sauce and some kind of heavenly cheesy fried something that defies description
  
• Entree: beef so tender you could cut it with a fork, smothered in a creamy sauce, over mashed potatoes, with two mini taco thingies, with grilled carrots and fried yucca
• Dessert: tequila bread pudding that has a consistency much, much better than that of a normal bread pudding, topped with a luscious creamy layer of gooey goodness

I swear - I must have ingested a half pound of butter over those two hours. My insides will revolt for days, but damn it was good. It tasted even better because someone else paid for it!

Chocolate is evil

Change from beginning of program: -4.2 LBs
Goal: 40 LBs to go

Activity: ironing

Temptation: fudge, Mexican food
Fruit and veg: 5

It's official. I have hit the wall.

The wall of chocolate.

I struggled to break that chocolate addiction in May. After about 3 days with no chocolate, I lost the taste for it. I felt liberated. And I lost weight.

Well, I slowly but surely worked my way back into the chocolate dependence.

It started small. A mini candy bar here, a bit of ice cream there.

Sunday, I made fudge.

Today, I made brownies.

Most of the fudge went to the office, as will most of the brownies. But I still eat the edges, the batter, the bits here and there.

And the weight is creeping back on. Dammit!

What to do?

By the way, have you ever noticed that the words evil and live have the same letters? Same goes for Elvis and lives. And Satan and Santa. What's up with that?

Vindicated

When I bought my house 10 years ago, I had a few requirements. An electric stove was one of them.

I found a house with an electric stove and a gas oven. I replaced the gas oven with an electric one in the first month I lived here.

Everyone said I was crazy. But I know what works when I cook.

Julia Child, my new hero, says in her seminal Mastering the Art of French Cooking, "Electric ovens give more even heat for pastry baking than gas." YES! I knew that the gas oven was burning things on the outside and not cooking on the inside.

Julia also says, "For top-of-stove cooking you wan to switch from very high indeed to very low heat with gradations in between, which a restaurant gas range can provide...Otherwise, a good modern electric cooktop is far better than weak domestic gas burners." (emphasis mine)

The master has spoken. I made the right choice with electricity.

I'll be wearing out that electric cooktop with my new stainless steel cookware.

From cupake catastrophe to trifle triumph

I refuse to give up on the cupcakes from last night. So I used the cake chunks I salvaged from last night in a trifle. Filling: cream cheese and whipped cream beaten together, chocolate fudge sauce, caramel sauce, and pecans.

My arteries are clogging as I type.

To avoid hurting myself, I am taking the whole thing to work tomorrow.

Like the canisters? I found them at a thrift store about 20 years ago in Dallas. I renovated the entire kitchen to match the canisters.

Baking disaster

In my quest for a winning recipe at the Ghirardelli contest, I tried some new cupcakes. I made the batter for German Chocolate Cake, but with Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate instead of the German Sweet Chocolate.

True story: German Chocolate Cake has no relationship to Germany. The chocolate used in German Chocolate Cake is sold under the brand name German Sweet Chocolate. My German friend looked at me like I was crazy when I asked him for an authentic recipe for the cake with coconut. He informed me that they did not have coconuts in Germany.

Anyway, my idea was to make cupcakes with the German Chocolate batter and put a large marshmallow in the center of each one. I tried that. I filled each cupcake liner 2/3 full of batter and stuck the marshmallow in the middle. Like an idiot, I made two pans of cupcakes (24). I put them in the oven and went outside to move the sprinklers. When I came back inside about 10 minutes later, I smelled something burning. The marshmallows had risen out of the cupcakes and were quite toasted on the top. And running over the pan. And dripping onto the racks and the bottom of the oven.

I turned the oven off and washed the racks. And cleaned the oven. (I guess that's one positive outcome...)

The German Chocolate Cake recipe makes a three-layer cake, so I had a lot of batter left over. For my next attempt, I cut the marshmallows in half and put the in the cupcake cups before the batter. This time, I made just one pan of 12 (instead of two). I also stayed in the house. And I opened a beer.

Every few minutes, I checked on the cupcakes. And every few minutes, I was poking down the rising marshmallows. I felt like Woody Allen in Sleeper. After about 15 minutes and 4-5 sessions of poking down the rising cupcakes, I removed them from the oven. They promptly fell to look like craters.

If the combination of the batter and the melted marshmallows didn't taste so damn good, I would have given up. But it really was the perfect combo.

After three pans (36 cupcakes), I still had batter. I finally put the remaining batter in a bundt pan and baked it until almost done. I covered that with the remaining marshmallows and the partially cooked cupcakes from the failed batches. I baked until I thought it might be done.

All of it is now in a large bowl covered with plastic wrap. I need to dream up a way to salvage what's there. Maybe a trifle?

What a mess.

I generally don't fail with baking. I guess I was due for a disaster. Now I just need to figure out how to turn this into a winning recipe.

Good luck with that...