Ode to Dark Chocolate Cellas
Your sweet, sweet goodness come but once a year.
For ten months, I dream of the dark chocolate case,
Clear liquid filling,
And perfect cherry center.
No messy white stuff here.
November heralds your arrival.
It is my favorite time of year.
Why? Oh why?
Why is Target not carrying you this year?
I have checked two stores, with no luck.
Thank goodness for CVS
Where the shelves are stocked.
Kroger carries your cousin
Milk chocolate Cellas.
No other candy is as good as you.
I can't eat just one - or two.
It's a good thing that you disappear in January
Or I would weigh 350.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Movie Review - Fast Food Nation
I feel compelled to tell everyone - do not see this movie! It is terrible.
I read the book, which was quite good. It exposed the nasty side of American fast food - literally the shit in the meat. It also showed how big corporations exploit the workers, particularly the vulnerable ones - illegal immigrants and teenagers. The book was lucid, coherent, and compelling.
The movie was a mish-mash of stories that were supposed to intersect but did not. It tried to put faces to the evil meat packers, the illegal immigrants, the corporate shills, and the exploited teens. But it was so disjointed, slow, and boring that it just didn't make sense.
Do yourself a favor - read the book and skip the movie.
I feel compelled to tell everyone - do not see this movie! It is terrible.
I read the book, which was quite good. It exposed the nasty side of American fast food - literally the shit in the meat. It also showed how big corporations exploit the workers, particularly the vulnerable ones - illegal immigrants and teenagers. The book was lucid, coherent, and compelling.
The movie was a mish-mash of stories that were supposed to intersect but did not. It tried to put faces to the evil meat packers, the illegal immigrants, the corporate shills, and the exploited teens. But it was so disjointed, slow, and boring that it just didn't make sense.
Do yourself a favor - read the book and skip the movie.
Friday, November 17, 2006
I think this is what they call a MeMe
Because it's all about ME!
Because it's all about ME!
- What is your occupation? Marketing diva
- What color are your panties right now? White
- What are you listening to right now? A basketball game
- What was the last thing that you ate? A delicious dinner at Chuy’s
- Can you drive a stick shift? Nothing but – my 350Z convertible wouldn’t be the same with an automatic transmission
- If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red
- Last person you spoke to on the phone? My sister Faith
- Do you like the person who sent this to you? Of course! My sister-in-law Brenda
- How old are you today? 46
- Favorite drink? Alcoholic, beer. Non-alcoholic, Caffeine Free Diet Coke
- What is your favorite sport to watch? NBA basketball
- Have you ever dyed your hair? Are you joking? Have I ever NOT dyed my hair?
- Pets? No
- What was the last movie you watched? “Man of the Year” with Robin Williams
- Favorite day of the week? Saturday and Sunday
- What do you do to vent anger? Drink beer or eat something (too much)
- What was your favorite toy as a child? Books. Once a nerd, always a nerd.
- What is your favorite fall or spring? Fall. My birthday, the State Fair, the start of cooler weather, and the start of basketball season
- Hugs or kisses? Hugs
- Cherries or Blueberries? Both!
- Living arrangements? He Who Shall Not Be Named
- When was the last time you cried? Don’t remember – it was a long time ago
- What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and filing
- What did you do last night? Watched DVDs of “Lost” Season 1 with HWSNBN
- Favorite smells? Cilantro
- What inspires you? My family – siblings and nephews (and now a niece)
- What are you afraid of? Losing my job and having to move in with a parent
- Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Veggie burger with cheese and extra pickles
- Favorite dog breed? Corndogs at the State Fair
- How many years at your current job?
- How many states have you lived in? 1--Just Texas
- Favorite holidays? Any of them that include food and candy (Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day)
- Ever driven motorcycle or heavy machinery? No. I nearly killed myself on a bicycle, so I don’t need to tempt fate.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Things that bother me
I am the first to admit that I am old school. But some things were just fine the way they were and don't need to change. Take alphabetization. When I was in school, we were taught to alphabetize by last name.
Jones, Tom
But now many applications alphabetize by first name:
Tom Jones
I will never get used to this. And why did it change anyway?
My biggest pet peeve is when "The" is considered in the alphabetization. Like a list of movies that reads:
Kazaam
The Godfather
Under the Rainbox
AARRGGHH!
I am the first to admit that I am old school. But some things were just fine the way they were and don't need to change. Take alphabetization. When I was in school, we were taught to alphabetize by last name.
Jones, Tom
But now many applications alphabetize by first name:
Tom Jones
I will never get used to this. And why did it change anyway?
My biggest pet peeve is when "The" is considered in the alphabetization. Like a list of movies that reads:
Kazaam
The Godfather
Under the Rainbox
AARRGGHH!
What if?
What if our purpose in life was a single, seemingly meaningless, encounter?
About 10 years ago, I was standing in a long line to get Hakeem Olajuwon (basketball star) to sign a copy of his biography. A woman and child approached me and asked for directions on how to get somewhere. I told them, and they thanked me and left.
But it made me wonder - what if my only purpose in life was to be in that exact spot, at that exact time, to help that exact person?
Think about it. If this is the way it works, the last 10 years have been icing on the cake for me.
What if our purpose in life was a single, seemingly meaningless, encounter?
About 10 years ago, I was standing in a long line to get Hakeem Olajuwon (basketball star) to sign a copy of his biography. A woman and child approached me and asked for directions on how to get somewhere. I told them, and they thanked me and left.
But it made me wonder - what if my only purpose in life was to be in that exact spot, at that exact time, to help that exact person?
Think about it. If this is the way it works, the last 10 years have been icing on the cake for me.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Pain
Hernia surgery hurts. Don't be fooled by "laparascopic patients can return to work in a few days." Yeah, maybe if you can work while stoned out of your brain on painkillers. OK - maybe answering the phone at the cable company or working at the local pharmacy would allow you to be that stoned. Like my pharmacy, where I called three times asking if my prescription was ready and being told each time that it was not. Then my friend drove over there and it had been sitting in the bin for over 24 hours!
Yeah, those people are stoned, and probably not on the legal stuff.
I don't know what it would feel like to be hit across the abdomen with a baseball bat, but that's how I think I feel now.
My goal is to NOT HAVE SURGERY ever again. Or at least in this decade. Or at least not again this year.
Hernia surgery hurts. Don't be fooled by "laparascopic patients can return to work in a few days." Yeah, maybe if you can work while stoned out of your brain on painkillers. OK - maybe answering the phone at the cable company or working at the local pharmacy would allow you to be that stoned. Like my pharmacy, where I called three times asking if my prescription was ready and being told each time that it was not. Then my friend drove over there and it had been sitting in the bin for over 24 hours!
Yeah, those people are stoned, and probably not on the legal stuff.
I don't know what it would feel like to be hit across the abdomen with a baseball bat, but that's how I think I feel now.
My goal is to NOT HAVE SURGERY ever again. Or at least in this decade. Or at least not again this year.
What if?
What if our purpose in life was a single, seemingly meaningless, encounter?
About 10 years ago, I was standing in a long line to get Hakeem Olajuwon (basketball star) to sign a copy of his biography. A woman and child approached me and asked for directions on how to get somewhere. I told them, and they thanked me and left.
But it made me wonder - what if my only purpose in life was to be in that exact spot, at that exact time, to help that exact person?
Think about it. If this is the way it works, the last 10 years have been icing on the cake for me.
What if our purpose in life was a single, seemingly meaningless, encounter?
About 10 years ago, I was standing in a long line to get Hakeem Olajuwon (basketball star) to sign a copy of his biography. A woman and child approached me and asked for directions on how to get somewhere. I told them, and they thanked me and left.
But it made me wonder - what if my only purpose in life was to be in that exact spot, at that exact time, to help that exact person?
Think about it. If this is the way it works, the last 10 years have been icing on the cake for me.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
De-Livered
I quit blogging in April for a good reason. In April, I was undergoing tests to determine what was causing pain in my lower left abdomen. I learned that I have diverticulosis, a common problem among over-60 year old Westerners. It's because we don't get enough fiber, or so they say.
I also learned that I have an ovarian cyst and "lesions" on my liver. My OB-GYN said that ovarian cysts are common and not to worry. So I did not worry about that. But lesions on the liver are worrisome.
After a CT scan and MRI, I learned that I had a simple cyst and a biliary cystadenoma in my liver. Not good news - I love my liver! Neither of these were caused by drinking. The biliary cystadeoma is a rare, congenital thing that occurs in women over 40. The only treatment is excision, and if you leave it alone, it will most likely become malignant. So I took the only rational option. I had a third of my liver removed.
I learned a lot about livers. The liver is the second larget organ in the body (skin is the largest). The liver and the skin are the only organs that regenerate. They can take up to 75% of your liver, and it will grow back in 6-8 weeks. Amazing!
The surgery was performed on May 10, during the NBA playoffs. I called the hospital in advance to be sure that they had the cable channels I needed to see Dallas play San Antonio. As I was in the hospital for five nights, this was critical. I could not miss those games. Dallas won that series, and the next, and went to the Finals before they were defeated - but I digress.
My five nights in the hospital were not the most pleasant nights I have had. In fact, I was pretty miserable. I swore that I would never have surgery again unless it was a matter of life and death. I had never spent the night in a hospital before, so I had to idea of what to expect. What I learned is that you get no rest because someone is checking on something every few hours. And all of them are concerned with bowel movements. I have never had so many people interested in my poop!
A big accomplishment in the hospital is being able to walk the halls. Exciting, huh? It's a challenge to manuever the poles with IV bags and wires - and keep your balance - and not run into the other patients. I hope I never have to go through that again.
My family and friends were great. I had lots of visits, calls, flowers, and cards - so I did learn that a lot of people care about me. That's what got me through it all.
I came on day 6 and slept for several days. That's exactly what happened - I slept all day and then couldn't sleep at night. But at least I was at home and could watch my Mavs on HDTV. And I had visitors and more reassuring calls. I will always be grateful to everyone who helped.
I was off work for seven weeks. I lost ten pounds. I was totally relaxed. Then I walked back into the office and was famished. I found the ten pounds almost immediately.
During my recovery period, I got better each day, albeit slowly. But one part of my 9" scar would not close. I had oozing, and I went to the doctor every week to see what was causing it. After I had been at work for a week, I returned to the doctor and demanded that we see what was happening. They shot my stomach up with novocain and dug and dug but could not fix it. They thought it was a suture absess. The only option - go back to the OR and open me up again.
So much for no more surgery.
It turns out that they had left a 12 cm (4-5") piece of a pain pump in me. When I got to my hospital room, I swear that the Discovery Channel was showing a program on "surgical instruments left behind." This was mid-July.
I spent one night in the hospital, then came home with a huge open wound - just like Tony Soprano after Uncle Junior shot him. The thing was GROSS. I could have fit a Mounds and a half in it. I had to pack it with gauze soaked in saline twice a day.
Needless to say, I didn't go to the office - or much of anywhere for a while. It was Labor Day before the thing completely closed.
Now I have a scar that looks like Our Lady of Guadalupe (with a 6" tail).
Now it's November, and I have had ANOTHER surgery. This was to repair an incisional hernia. Incisional hernias are not uncommon after abdominal surgery. The incision from one or both earlier surgeries weakened my abdominal wall and some organ started poking through.
Our Lady of Guadalupe morphed into the creature from "Aliens."
The third - and hopefully last - surgery was yesterday. They were able to do it laparascopically, so I was able to come home the same day. I'm whacked out of my brain on painkillers, but at least I am in my own bed with no nurses waking me every other hour.
Our Lady of Guadalupe/Alien now has some new holes around her/it.
My dreams of being a pole dancer are over.
I quit blogging in April for a good reason. In April, I was undergoing tests to determine what was causing pain in my lower left abdomen. I learned that I have diverticulosis, a common problem among over-60 year old Westerners. It's because we don't get enough fiber, or so they say.
I also learned that I have an ovarian cyst and "lesions" on my liver. My OB-GYN said that ovarian cysts are common and not to worry. So I did not worry about that. But lesions on the liver are worrisome.
After a CT scan and MRI, I learned that I had a simple cyst and a biliary cystadenoma in my liver. Not good news - I love my liver! Neither of these were caused by drinking. The biliary cystadeoma is a rare, congenital thing that occurs in women over 40. The only treatment is excision, and if you leave it alone, it will most likely become malignant. So I took the only rational option. I had a third of my liver removed.
I learned a lot about livers. The liver is the second larget organ in the body (skin is the largest). The liver and the skin are the only organs that regenerate. They can take up to 75% of your liver, and it will grow back in 6-8 weeks. Amazing!
The surgery was performed on May 10, during the NBA playoffs. I called the hospital in advance to be sure that they had the cable channels I needed to see Dallas play San Antonio. As I was in the hospital for five nights, this was critical. I could not miss those games. Dallas won that series, and the next, and went to the Finals before they were defeated - but I digress.
My five nights in the hospital were not the most pleasant nights I have had. In fact, I was pretty miserable. I swore that I would never have surgery again unless it was a matter of life and death. I had never spent the night in a hospital before, so I had to idea of what to expect. What I learned is that you get no rest because someone is checking on something every few hours. And all of them are concerned with bowel movements. I have never had so many people interested in my poop!
A big accomplishment in the hospital is being able to walk the halls. Exciting, huh? It's a challenge to manuever the poles with IV bags and wires - and keep your balance - and not run into the other patients. I hope I never have to go through that again.
My family and friends were great. I had lots of visits, calls, flowers, and cards - so I did learn that a lot of people care about me. That's what got me through it all.
I came on day 6 and slept for several days. That's exactly what happened - I slept all day and then couldn't sleep at night. But at least I was at home and could watch my Mavs on HDTV. And I had visitors and more reassuring calls. I will always be grateful to everyone who helped.
I was off work for seven weeks. I lost ten pounds. I was totally relaxed. Then I walked back into the office and was famished. I found the ten pounds almost immediately.
During my recovery period, I got better each day, albeit slowly. But one part of my 9" scar would not close. I had oozing, and I went to the doctor every week to see what was causing it. After I had been at work for a week, I returned to the doctor and demanded that we see what was happening. They shot my stomach up with novocain and dug and dug but could not fix it. They thought it was a suture absess. The only option - go back to the OR and open me up again.
So much for no more surgery.
It turns out that they had left a 12 cm (4-5") piece of a pain pump in me. When I got to my hospital room, I swear that the Discovery Channel was showing a program on "surgical instruments left behind." This was mid-July.
I spent one night in the hospital, then came home with a huge open wound - just like Tony Soprano after Uncle Junior shot him. The thing was GROSS. I could have fit a Mounds and a half in it. I had to pack it with gauze soaked in saline twice a day.
Needless to say, I didn't go to the office - or much of anywhere for a while. It was Labor Day before the thing completely closed.
Now I have a scar that looks like Our Lady of Guadalupe (with a 6" tail).
Now it's November, and I have had ANOTHER surgery. This was to repair an incisional hernia. Incisional hernias are not uncommon after abdominal surgery. The incision from one or both earlier surgeries weakened my abdominal wall and some organ started poking through.
Our Lady of Guadalupe morphed into the creature from "Aliens."
The third - and hopefully last - surgery was yesterday. They were able to do it laparascopically, so I was able to come home the same day. I'm whacked out of my brain on painkillers, but at least I am in my own bed with no nurses waking me every other hour.
Our Lady of Guadalupe/Alien now has some new holes around her/it.
My dreams of being a pole dancer are over.
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