Chicken pox or VP shooting?

US Vice-President Dick Cheney has accidentally shot and injured a man during a quail hunting trip.

The victim, named as Harry Whittington, was on the trip with Mr Cheney at a ranch in Texas when the incident took place on Saturday.

Mr Whittington, 78, was taken to hospital in the town of Corpus Christi, where an official said he was "very stable" and had rested well overnight.

This is something that happens from time to time - you know, I've been peppered pretty well myself Ranch owner Katharine Armstrong

The men were part of a quail hunting expedition at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas.

Ranch owner Katharine Armstrong said Mr Cheney had turned round to shoot at a bird, unaware that Mr Whittington was behind him. He sprayed Mr Whittington with shotgun pellets.

"The covey flushed and the vice-president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by God, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good," she said.

'Good spirits'

Mr Whittington was hit in the cheek, neck and chest, but was said to be "alert and doing fine" in hospital.

Giving an update on Mr Whittington's condition on Monday, hospital administrator Peter Banko said: "It's not critical. It's not serious. It's just stable at this time."

Mr Whittington's daughter, Sally, told the Dallas Morning News her father was being observed in hospital because of some swelling from the welts in his neck.

"It looks like chicken pox, kind of," she said. "He was very, very lucky that nothing seriously was injured."

Why "Pho Snow"?

He Who Shall Not be Named (aka Bigfoot) has always called me Snow. As in my skin is as white as snow.

Now, after 8 years, he has given me a new name. I told him the meaning of "faux" - fake. A few days later, he said that my new name was "faux" because I have lots of faux items, most noticably a gorgeous faux cheetah coat. When I asked him how to spell it, he said "P-H-O."

I pointed out that "pho" was Vietnamese soup. But the name stuck.

So now I'm Pho Snow. A fake white person. Which is appropriate because he says that I'm more black than he is anyway.

Some days, I feel like Spongebob

I don't live in a pineapple under the sea. My best friend is not a starfish. But I do retain water like sponge. I'm always swollen. Pink Floyd sang about "those swollen hand blues" over 20 years ago. I felt them then, and I feel them now.

Other days, I feel like Patrick. Big and pink and slow.

My coworkers probably say I'm most like Squidward - cynical and totally over it.

But I'm probably most like Mr. Krabs. I want me money!