The Poles do know how to drink, dontcha know....
Monday, October 20, 2008
Adventures in Poland
Things are different in Poland. For example, to turn on any lights in my hotel room, I had to put my room key into a slot near the door. To turn on the TV, I had to press a number key on the remote - the power button would turn it off, but not turn it on.
The currency is zlotky, and everything under 10 zlotky is a coin. I got 200 zlotky from an ATM, and that amounted to $77. Try doing the math on prices with that exchange rate...especially after a large Polish beer.
Speaking of beer, the beer spelled "Zywiec" is pronounced "jivitz" (rhymes with Nimitz). HUH?
They love pork. I can fix make 100+ dishes out of hamburger meat. They can make 1000+ dishes out of pork.
They love vodka, and I have no problem with that whatsoever. The cherry vodka was excellent, but I didn't care for the grass-flavored vodka. Chopin is a very nice unflavored vodka.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Will it ever end?
First we were bitch slapped by Hurricane Ike and had no power for eight days. No AC, no refrigerator, no fans, no TV, no lights, no way to keep the beer cold. It was not the most pleasant eight days of my life.
Now my air conditioner is dead, and it will take several thousands of dollars to get a new one.
Of course, it died just before I'm set to leave the country for a week. Bigfoot says he enjoys the heat, so he is going to tough it out until I return and get the new unit is installed next week.
At least my electricity bill should be low this month...
First we were bitch slapped by Hurricane Ike and had no power for eight days. No AC, no refrigerator, no fans, no TV, no lights, no way to keep the beer cold. It was not the most pleasant eight days of my life.
Now my air conditioner is dead, and it will take several thousands of dollars to get a new one.
Of course, it died just before I'm set to leave the country for a week. Bigfoot says he enjoys the heat, so he is going to tough it out until I return and get the new unit is installed next week.
At least my electricity bill should be low this month...
Thursday, October 02, 2008
I wanna be a Toadie roadie
About a month ago, I saw the Toadies in concert in a small venue in Houston. Bigfoot doesn't like the same music as I do (he was on his way to a smooth jazz - AACCKK - concert the same night), my concert buddy was on a diving trip in Mexico, my brother and his family who were in town dissed me to be with his best friend's family (the NERVE), and my sister doesn't really know their music. So I went alone, after much internal debate.
Am I glad I did. They were great! They have only three albums, and they played pretty much everything from all three. They were loud. They were having fun. They don't worry about any of the clean and sober crap - they sipped from cans of beer between songs. How refreshing!
So I want to go on the road with them so that I can say I'm a Toadie Roadie.
About a month ago, I saw the Toadies in concert in a small venue in Houston. Bigfoot doesn't like the same music as I do (he was on his way to a smooth jazz - AACCKK - concert the same night), my concert buddy was on a diving trip in Mexico, my brother and his family who were in town dissed me to be with his best friend's family (the NERVE), and my sister doesn't really know their music. So I went alone, after much internal debate.
Am I glad I did. They were great! They have only three albums, and they played pretty much everything from all three. They were loud. They were having fun. They don't worry about any of the clean and sober crap - they sipped from cans of beer between songs. How refreshing!
So I want to go on the road with them so that I can say I'm a Toadie Roadie.
Blue Ribbon Picante Sauce
Yep, my picante sauce has been deemed the best in Texas. Or at least the best one entered in the Creative Arts contest at the State Fair of Texas.
It was hot. And it was hot when we visited the State Fair on the last weekend in September. Hell - it will be hot two months from now.
But I will bask in the glory of winning the blue ribbon for the second time. The first time was in 1996. At this rate, I'm due for another blue ribbon in 2020.
By the way, we had a great time at the State Fair this year. My oldest friend, J, met us there to consume mass quantities of beer and laugh like schoolgirls.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Big Tex, here we come!
The State Fair of Texas, the largest state fair in the country, will start on September 26 this year. I sent my picante sauce in today - it has won ribbons before, and if you read this blog, you know about this year's batch. I also sent in a two-page scrapbook layout this year. I made scrapbooks of our visits to the State Fair, going back to 1987, for my sister, my sister-in-law, and me last year. For the competition this year, I entered the only scrapbook category they had. I used a State Fair theme to give myself an edge. We will see what happens.
Old friends are the best
By "old," I mean friends that I have had for a long time. Not friends that are old. But I'm old now, so maybe that means that the friends I have had for a long time are somewhat old.
Speaking of old, it is really official now that I am OLD. I got bifocals yesterday. I feel like I am walking around inside a fish bowl. The doctor told me that it could take a month (a MONTH) to adjust to them. Whatever. I can't walk in a fish bowl for a month. I often walk into walls, tables, etc. because my depth perception is off, but these glasses amplify my already spastic tendencies. I will end up in the emergency room before I adjust.
Back to my original thought...
On Saturday, I flew to Dallas to spend a day with my friend J, my oldest (i.e., longest-running) friend. I met J when I was a junior in college and she was taking a tour of our campus. She came to school the next year, and the rest is history. Her mother is convinced that I led her down the road to ruin. She taught me the value of Coach purses. She has lived near me and far away. She gave me the honor of being the maid of honor at her wedding - and she has three sisters! Her husband is unbelievably cool, and they will celebrate their 20th anniversary next month. And she loves art.
We spent the day chatting and visiting the Impressionists exhibit at the Kimbell Museum in Fort Worth. We ate Mexican food, and she gave me some ultra-hip earrings. It was a great day, even though it was 105F. Seriously. We were in Texas, after all. We laughed, we ate, we drank beer. It was a great day. She even took me to meet my brother, sister-in-law, and sister-in-law's sister. We all drank - and laughed. It was a wonderful day.
On Sunday, I basically slept all day. It was beautiful.
If it gets any better than this, I don't need to know about it. It's a wonderful life!
By "old," I mean friends that I have had for a long time. Not friends that are old. But I'm old now, so maybe that means that the friends I have had for a long time are somewhat old.
Speaking of old, it is really official now that I am OLD. I got bifocals yesterday. I feel like I am walking around inside a fish bowl. The doctor told me that it could take a month (a MONTH) to adjust to them. Whatever. I can't walk in a fish bowl for a month. I often walk into walls, tables, etc. because my depth perception is off, but these glasses amplify my already spastic tendencies. I will end up in the emergency room before I adjust.
Back to my original thought...
On Saturday, I flew to Dallas to spend a day with my friend J, my oldest (i.e., longest-running) friend. I met J when I was a junior in college and she was taking a tour of our campus. She came to school the next year, and the rest is history. Her mother is convinced that I led her down the road to ruin. She taught me the value of Coach purses. She has lived near me and far away. She gave me the honor of being the maid of honor at her wedding - and she has three sisters! Her husband is unbelievably cool, and they will celebrate their 20th anniversary next month. And she loves art.
We spent the day chatting and visiting the Impressionists exhibit at the Kimbell Museum in Fort Worth. We ate Mexican food, and she gave me some ultra-hip earrings. It was a great day, even though it was 105F. Seriously. We were in Texas, after all. We laughed, we ate, we drank beer. It was a great day. She even took me to meet my brother, sister-in-law, and sister-in-law's sister. We all drank - and laughed. It was a wonderful day.
On Sunday, I basically slept all day. It was beautiful.
If it gets any better than this, I don't need to know about it. It's a wonderful life!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I want to be Catwoman
When I was growing up in the 1960s, Batman was one of my favorite TV shows. (The Monkees and That Girl were other favorites, but let's save those for another day.) I identified most with Catwoman - Julie Newmar. While most aficionados say that Eartha Kitt was the best, Julie was the Catwoman for me. Let us not speak of Halle Berry and the abomination she made.
I am part cat. If it weren't for fleas, hairballs, and eating mice, I would want to be a cat. But litter boxes - and the impossibility of changing species - keep me being a woman. But I still like to cat around.
The reason Catwoman is on my mind is that I say The Dark Knight this weekend. I like Batman movies in general, but it has been a long time since I liked one this much. I skipped the Val Kilmer one (puh-lease), and Batman and Robin was scary (even with George Clooney and Uma Thurman). I saw Batman Begins mainly because Michael Caine was in it, and any movie with Michael Caine can't be that bad. But The Dark Knight was the best movie since Batman Returns, the movie that, not coincidentally, had Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.
Michelle was an outstanding Catwoman, channeling Julie Newmar all the way, and being even more catty. I want to be Catwoman.
If I wanted to be a Joker, however, I would channel Heath Ledger. What an amazing performance! I read the reviews and assumed that they were fawning because Heath is dead. But he really is as good as they say he was. I don't need to tell you that, because every person in America saw the movie last weekend.
Meow.
When I was growing up in the 1960s, Batman was one of my favorite TV shows. (The Monkees and That Girl were other favorites, but let's save those for another day.) I identified most with Catwoman - Julie Newmar. While most aficionados say that Eartha Kitt was the best, Julie was the Catwoman for me. Let us not speak of Halle Berry and the abomination she made.
I am part cat. If it weren't for fleas, hairballs, and eating mice, I would want to be a cat. But litter boxes - and the impossibility of changing species - keep me being a woman. But I still like to cat around.
The reason Catwoman is on my mind is that I say The Dark Knight this weekend. I like Batman movies in general, but it has been a long time since I liked one this much. I skipped the Val Kilmer one (puh-lease), and Batman and Robin was scary (even with George Clooney and Uma Thurman). I saw Batman Begins mainly because Michael Caine was in it, and any movie with Michael Caine can't be that bad. But The Dark Knight was the best movie since Batman Returns, the movie that, not coincidentally, had Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.
Michelle was an outstanding Catwoman, channeling Julie Newmar all the way, and being even more catty. I want to be Catwoman.
If I wanted to be a Joker, however, I would channel Heath Ledger. What an amazing performance! I read the reviews and assumed that they were fawning because Heath is dead. But he really is as good as they say he was. I don't need to tell you that, because every person in America saw the movie last weekend.
Meow.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Katalina
When Homer Simpson ate the "Merciless Peppers of Quetzaltenango - grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum," he went on a weird and wonderful journey through the desert and his brain.
When I ate the picante sauce that I made this year, I felt like Homer in that episode.
Each year, I cook up a batch of picante sauce for my personal stash and to enter in the State Fair of Texas. (Did I tell you that I won the blue ribbon in 1996? I'll never get tired of that story.) Anyway, I can never get it hot enough. Every year I add more peppers, and every year the salsa is warm but not hot.
This year, I added fresh cayennes to the mix. And I juiced the tomatoes so that I didn't need to cook the salsa as long as usual. (Cooking makes the peppers lose their heat, so a short cooking time is a good thing.)
When I tasted the salsa during the cooking process, I burned the taste buds off my tongue and was unable to taste anything for about 24 hours. But canning mellows the salsa, so I still didn't have much hope.
Until today.
After opening a jar today, I realized that I have reached the Homer in the desert level. The salsa literally made the side of my head tingle and stay warm for hours. Hours!
I didn't see Johnny Cash (like Homer did), but I was in a trance-like state for the rest of the day.
Viva el chile!
P.S. To learn more about Homer's voyage, click here.
When Homer Simpson ate the "Merciless Peppers of Quetzaltenango - grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum," he went on a weird and wonderful journey through the desert and his brain.
When I ate the picante sauce that I made this year, I felt like Homer in that episode.
Each year, I cook up a batch of picante sauce for my personal stash and to enter in the State Fair of Texas. (Did I tell you that I won the blue ribbon in 1996? I'll never get tired of that story.) Anyway, I can never get it hot enough. Every year I add more peppers, and every year the salsa is warm but not hot.
This year, I added fresh cayennes to the mix. And I juiced the tomatoes so that I didn't need to cook the salsa as long as usual. (Cooking makes the peppers lose their heat, so a short cooking time is a good thing.)
When I tasted the salsa during the cooking process, I burned the taste buds off my tongue and was unable to taste anything for about 24 hours. But canning mellows the salsa, so I still didn't have much hope.
Until today.
After opening a jar today, I realized that I have reached the Homer in the desert level. The salsa literally made the side of my head tingle and stay warm for hours. Hours!
I didn't see Johnny Cash (like Homer did), but I was in a trance-like state for the rest of the day.
Viva el chile!
P.S. To learn more about Homer's voyage, click here.
Always Moisturize
Moisture is a bit of an obsession for me. I am part amphibian, I drink 1-2 gallons of water every day, and I spend more on moisturizer than should be allowed by law. But I don't have many wrinkles, so it is worth it.
When I went to the hospital for a 5 night stay, I took my toothbrush and my moisturizer. I came home with a 9" scar, but no new wrinkles.
So it should come as no surprise that last night I dreamed that I had died. When they told me I was dead, I replied, "I can't be dead. I don't have my moisturizer." I mean, who wants to be a wrinkled ghost?
Moisture is a bit of an obsession for me. I am part amphibian, I drink 1-2 gallons of water every day, and I spend more on moisturizer than should be allowed by law. But I don't have many wrinkles, so it is worth it.
When I went to the hospital for a 5 night stay, I took my toothbrush and my moisturizer. I came home with a 9" scar, but no new wrinkles.
So it should come as no surprise that last night I dreamed that I had died. When they told me I was dead, I replied, "I can't be dead. I don't have my moisturizer." I mean, who wants to be a wrinkled ghost?
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Bo-ring
Q: What is more boring than watching a baseball game between two teams that are not "your" teams?
A: Watching a baseball game between two teams that are not your teams while you have no beer. And they have a 56 minute rain delay.
Backstory: I was in New York City with He Who Shall Not be Named, visiting the hallowed Yankee Stadium before it is torn down. (They are tearing it down to move across the street to a new stadium that will be called - drumroll - Yankee Stadium.) We live in the city that invented covered sports stadiums so that weather will not affect the game. We don't know what to do during a rain delay. Normally, I would drink more heavily than usual, but this was a day game and I have learned not to drink in the sunlight. Beer, sun, and see-through skin make a bad combination.
We were at the stadium for a total of 5 1/2 hours. Then we had dinner at the ESPN Zone. Then we went to another baseball game at another stadium in NY that is being torn down so that the team can move to a new stadium next to the old stadium. That's enough baseball for a while.
The Monday game was better for several reasons:
Q: What is more boring than watching a baseball game between two teams that are not "your" teams?
A: Watching a baseball game between two teams that are not your teams while you have no beer. And they have a 56 minute rain delay.
Backstory: I was in New York City with He Who Shall Not be Named, visiting the hallowed Yankee Stadium before it is torn down. (They are tearing it down to move across the street to a new stadium that will be called - drumroll - Yankee Stadium.) We live in the city that invented covered sports stadiums so that weather will not affect the game. We don't know what to do during a rain delay. Normally, I would drink more heavily than usual, but this was a day game and I have learned not to drink in the sunlight. Beer, sun, and see-through skin make a bad combination.
We were at the stadium for a total of 5 1/2 hours. Then we had dinner at the ESPN Zone. Then we went to another baseball game at another stadium in NY that is being torn down so that the team can move to a new stadium next to the old stadium. That's enough baseball for a while.
The Monday game was better for several reasons:
- I was drinking. Yes, beer is expensive in NYC, but not much more costly than it is in the sports venues in Houston. And besides, I learned my lesson the day before - baseball without beer is boringball.
- We were at Shea Stadium - the home of the first stadium concert ever. By the Beatles, of course. It is hallowed ground indeed. That will be gone in October.
- It was a night game, so the crowd was more fun.
- I was drinking.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
WTF does it mean?
I was riding in the back seat of a car with some people who were driving me to a city where I used to live. My mission was to meet a coworker in this town. As we approached the town, I realized that I didn't have the exact directions on where to go. I was relying on memory and a good general sense of direction to get me there.
We drove all of the way through/past the the town before I realized that I really didn't know where I was going. I called the coworker for directions, and his wife told me how to get there as best she could, but she admitted that she didn't know the names of the streets. I wrote the directions on the bottom of a black suede purse in black ink.
I felt guilty for asking my driver to go out of her way and turn around to take me to where I still didn't know I was going, but I asked anyway. Then I saw an elephant that had escaped from the zoo.
Flashback or dream?
It is telling me something. I'm trying to go somewhere I have been before, but I don't know how to get there. I'm depending on someone else to find my way, and that's not working. What I'm doing wrong is obvious to everyone but me.
What the hell is it?
I was riding in the back seat of a car with some people who were driving me to a city where I used to live. My mission was to meet a coworker in this town. As we approached the town, I realized that I didn't have the exact directions on where to go. I was relying on memory and a good general sense of direction to get me there.
We drove all of the way through/past the the town before I realized that I really didn't know where I was going. I called the coworker for directions, and his wife told me how to get there as best she could, but she admitted that she didn't know the names of the streets. I wrote the directions on the bottom of a black suede purse in black ink.
I felt guilty for asking my driver to go out of her way and turn around to take me to where I still didn't know I was going, but I asked anyway. Then I saw an elephant that had escaped from the zoo.
Flashback or dream?
It is telling me something. I'm trying to go somewhere I have been before, but I don't know how to get there. I'm depending on someone else to find my way, and that's not working. What I'm doing wrong is obvious to everyone but me.
What the hell is it?
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Hell Hath Frozen Over
According to my sister.
I asked He Who Shall Not Be Named to mow the yard on Monday. I know how tall the grass is because I am in it every night watering. He chose to wash the cars instead.
On Tuesday, HWSNBN was prescribed a medication that included a warning about staying out of the sun. Complications include heatstroke. Great. It is always sunny in Houston in June, and it will never rain again. So - what to do?
I asked HWSNBN about paying my cleaning lady's son to mow the yard while the cleaning lady was cleaning (which was scheduled for Wednesday). He said, no, he would handle it.
On Wednesday afternoon, he informed me that he didn't want to risk heatstroke, so I needed to hire someone to mow. By now, I was about to jump out of my skin to get the work done. Hiring somebody could mean days of waiting.
So I mowed the yard.
For the first time in my life, I mowed.
According to my sister.
I asked He Who Shall Not Be Named to mow the yard on Monday. I know how tall the grass is because I am in it every night watering. He chose to wash the cars instead.
On Tuesday, HWSNBN was prescribed a medication that included a warning about staying out of the sun. Complications include heatstroke. Great. It is always sunny in Houston in June, and it will never rain again. So - what to do?
I asked HWSNBN about paying my cleaning lady's son to mow the yard while the cleaning lady was cleaning (which was scheduled for Wednesday). He said, no, he would handle it.
On Wednesday afternoon, he informed me that he didn't want to risk heatstroke, so I needed to hire someone to mow. By now, I was about to jump out of my skin to get the work done. Hiring somebody could mean days of waiting.
So I mowed the yard.
For the first time in my life, I mowed.
But I refused to edge.
It was HOT. Have I told you lately that I hate the heat?
I hope that I don't have to do this again, but if he stays on this medication, I may have to.
Better yet, that gives me time to find someone else to do it.
Better yet, that gives me time to find someone else to do it.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Why do I live here?
I hate the heat. I mean, I really HATE the heat. So why in the hell do I live in Texas? We have real heat that loves to gather in cars. Open the door of a car that has been in a parking lot in Houston for 1 hour any time between May 1 and November 1 to feel the heat. When you open the door, you feel like you just opened the oven to check on a tray of cookies. Having a black leather interior in the car doesn't help, as the leather never cools down.
It has been hot for a month already, and it won't cool off until the end of October - that means that we have 5 months (about 150 days) of being unable to stay dry while walking from the back door to the garage. Those 20 or so steps allow enough time to break into a sweat - not from exertion, but from heat. It is miserable in the morning. It is more miserable at lunch. The only time I can bear to be outside at all is after 6:00 p.m., when I have to be out there watering the yard.
The new landscaping and small vegetable gardening require almost daily watering. My summer hobby has returned - moving sprinklers. Mosquitoes and heat are not my cup of tea. But there's nothing quite like a home-grown tomato, so I will endure.
But back to the original question - why do I live here? Seattle sounds better every day. I like rain. I like cool (but not cold) temperatures. London would be perfect, but I doubt that I could afford to live there. Houston is affordable, and the winters are really nice. It's just the six months of summer that kill me. Thank goodness for air conditioning.
I hate the heat. I mean, I really HATE the heat. So why in the hell do I live in Texas? We have real heat that loves to gather in cars. Open the door of a car that has been in a parking lot in Houston for 1 hour any time between May 1 and November 1 to feel the heat. When you open the door, you feel like you just opened the oven to check on a tray of cookies. Having a black leather interior in the car doesn't help, as the leather never cools down.
It has been hot for a month already, and it won't cool off until the end of October - that means that we have 5 months (about 150 days) of being unable to stay dry while walking from the back door to the garage. Those 20 or so steps allow enough time to break into a sweat - not from exertion, but from heat. It is miserable in the morning. It is more miserable at lunch. The only time I can bear to be outside at all is after 6:00 p.m., when I have to be out there watering the yard.
The new landscaping and small vegetable gardening require almost daily watering. My summer hobby has returned - moving sprinklers. Mosquitoes and heat are not my cup of tea. But there's nothing quite like a home-grown tomato, so I will endure.
But back to the original question - why do I live here? Seattle sounds better every day. I like rain. I like cool (but not cold) temperatures. London would be perfect, but I doubt that I could afford to live there. Houston is affordable, and the winters are really nice. It's just the six months of summer that kill me. Thank goodness for air conditioning.
The Return of a Lazy Blogger
After 17 months, I'm attempting to restart my blog.
My inspiration is my friend J, who blogs diligently and always makes me laugh.
My goal is to post at least twice a week. I have so many things to write about, but I just have not taken the time to sit down and do it.
So here we go.
After 17 months, I'm attempting to restart my blog.
My inspiration is my friend J, who blogs diligently and always makes me laugh.
My goal is to post at least twice a week. I have so many things to write about, but I just have not taken the time to sit down and do it.
So here we go.
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