WTF does it mean?

I was riding in the back seat of a car with some people who were driving me to a city where I used to live. My mission was to meet a coworker in this town. As we approached the town, I realized that I didn't have the exact directions on where to go. I was relying on memory and a good general sense of direction to get me there.

We drove all of the way through/past the the town before I realized that I really didn't know where I was going. I called the coworker for directions, and his wife told me how to get there as best she could, but she admitted that she didn't know the names of the streets. I wrote the directions on the bottom of a black suede purse in black ink.

I felt guilty for asking my driver to go out of her way and turn around to take me to where I still didn't know I was going, but I asked anyway. Then I saw an elephant that had escaped from the zoo.

Flashback or dream?

It is telling me something. I'm trying to go somewhere I have been before, but I don't know how to get there. I'm depending on someone else to find my way, and that's not working. What I'm doing wrong is obvious to everyone but me.

What the hell is it?

Hell Hath Frozen Over

According to my sister.

I asked He Who Shall Not Be Named to mow the yard on Monday. I know how tall the grass is because I am in it every night watering. He chose to wash the cars instead.

On Tuesday, HWSNBN was prescribed a medication that included a warning about staying out of the sun. Complications include heatstroke. Great. It is always sunny in Houston in June, and it will never rain again. So - what to do?

I asked HWSNBN about paying my cleaning lady's son to mow the yard while the cleaning lady was cleaning (which was scheduled for Wednesday). He said, no, he would handle it.

On Wednesday afternoon, he informed me that he didn't want to risk heatstroke, so I needed to hire someone to mow. By now, I was about to jump out of my skin to get the work done. Hiring somebody could mean days of waiting.

So I mowed the yard.

For the first time in my life, I mowed.

But I refused to edge.

It was HOT. Have I told you lately that I hate the heat?

I hope that I don't have to do this again, but if he stays on this medication, I may have to.

Better yet, that gives me time to find someone else to do it.

Why do I live here?

I hate the heat. I mean, I really HATE the heat. So why in the hell do I live in Texas? We have real heat that loves to gather in cars. Open the door of a car that has been in a parking lot in Houston for 1 hour any time between May 1 and November 1 to feel the heat. When you open the door, you feel like you just opened the oven to check on a tray of cookies. Having a black leather interior in the car doesn't help, as the leather never cools down.

It has been hot for a month already, and it won't cool off until the end of October - that means that we have 5 months (about 150 days) of being unable to stay dry while walking from the back door to the garage. Those 20 or so steps allow enough time to break into a sweat - not from exertion, but from heat. It is miserable in the morning. It is more miserable at lunch. The only time I can bear to be outside at all is after 6:00 p.m., when I have to be out there watering the yard.

The new landscaping and small vegetable gardening require almost daily watering. My summer hobby has returned - moving sprinklers. Mosquitoes and heat are not my cup of tea. But there's nothing quite like a home-grown tomato, so I will endure.

But back to the original question - why do I live here? Seattle sounds better every day. I like rain. I like cool (but not cold) temperatures. London would be perfect, but I doubt that I could afford to live there. Houston is affordable, and the winters are really nice. It's just the six months of summer that kill me. Thank goodness for air conditioning.

The Return of a Lazy Blogger

After 17 months, I'm attempting to restart my blog.

My inspiration is my friend J, who blogs diligently and always makes me laugh.

My goal is to post at least twice a week. I have so many things to write about, but I just have not taken the time to sit down and do it.

So here we go.

2006 - What a Year!

2006 was a challenging year, but it had a lot of good points too.

Challenges: three surgeries in six months (but now I have a cool scar that looks like Our Lady of Guadalupe), a broken air conditioner in August, pulling the bumper loose on my car while backing out of the garage to go to work, my good friends splitting up after 15 years and one of them moving out of state

Rewards - there were many.

• I got a niece! I have been waiting for one for about 17 years. We were all sure that Daniel would be a girl, but he is all boy. Sophie joined us in November, and she is a cutie.
• During all my medical woes, I found out how lucky I am to have so many caring and helpful friends and family members. You were all outstanding!
• I got a manager that I like. This is a rare and amazing thing.
• I got to move to a job that I actually wanted.
• The Mavs went to the NBA Finals. They eventually lost, but I never thought I would live long enough to see them get there. And they are looking good this season.
• I was able to travel to San Francisco twice (once for work and once for pleasure), Miami and Tampa (pleasure - and wonderful beaches), and Dallas for the State Fair and Christmas. Work took me to Raleigh, Anaheim, and NYC. On all of the work trips, I was able to visit with friends or family.
• I made it to another year.
  

Here's to a wonderful, healthy, and exciting 2007!

Kathy's Choice Awards - 2006 (Part 1)

I have never understood who appointed the Oscar committee or how they choose what movies are the "best" each year. Many, many of their choices make no sense. "The English Patient" was the best picture of the year? Give me a break.

Several years ago, "they" came up with the People's Choice Awards. But they never asked me what I thought. So here is the first installment of the inaugural Kathy's Choice Awards.

Today's awards are for the best overall movies. Granted, 2006 was not a great year for movies, but a few were really good. Taking a page from the Golden Globes, we will have a winner for drama and another for musical comedy.

The drama winner is "The Departed." (See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407887/)
This violent story of corrupt cops, mobsters, and honest cops is one of the best movies in years. I love Martin Scorsese movies, and this is one of the best. Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, and the omnipresent Alec Baldwin give great performances. I did not want this movie to end. It was that good. It should get a boatload of awards.

The musical/comedy winner is "Little Miss Sunshine." ( See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449059/)
Everybody loves a story about dysfunctional families, and this is the story of one very dysfunctional family on a road trip. The movie has a lot of famous actors, but the real star is Little Miss Sunshine herself, Abigal Breslin as Olive. She is a bright, honest girl caught in a crazy family and a bizarre beauty pageant. When I saw this at the theater, I hurt myself laughing. The Volkswagen bus reminded me of the many crap cars we had when I was growing up (including a Volkswagen bus). Do yourself a favor and rent this movie if you haven't seen it yet. It probably won't win too many awards because it is offbeat and independent, but Olive deserves a Best Supporting Actress statue.

Next up - the worst movies of 2006.

Ode to Dark Chocolate Cellas

Your sweet, sweet goodness come but once a year.
For ten months, I dream of the dark chocolate case,
Clear liquid filling,
And perfect cherry center.
No messy white stuff here.

November heralds your arrival.
It is my favorite time of year.

Why? Oh why?
Why is Target not carrying you this year?
I have checked two stores, with no luck.
Thank goodness for CVS
Where the shelves are stocked.
Kroger carries your cousin
Milk chocolate Cellas.

No other candy is as good as you.
I can't eat just one - or two.
It's a good thing that you disappear in January
Or I would weigh 350.