Big Tex, here we come!

The State Fair of Texas, the largest state fair in the country, will start on September 26 this year. I sent my picante sauce in today - it has won ribbons before, and if you read this blog, you know about this year's batch. I also sent in a two-page scrapbook layout this year. I made scrapbooks of our visits to the State Fair, going back to 1987, for my sister, my sister-in-law, and me last year. For the competition this year, I entered the only scrapbook category they had. I used a State Fair theme to give myself an edge. We will see what happens.

Old friends are the best

By "old," I mean friends that I have had for a long time. Not friends that are old. But I'm old now, so maybe that means that the friends I have had for a long time are somewhat old.

Speaking of old, it is really official now that I am OLD. I got bifocals yesterday. I feel like I am walking around inside a fish bowl. The doctor told me that it could take a month (a MONTH) to adjust to them. Whatever. I can't walk in a fish bowl for a month. I often walk into walls, tables, etc. because my depth perception is off, but these glasses amplify my already spastic tendencies. I will end up in the emergency room before I adjust.

Back to my original thought...

On Saturday, I flew to Dallas to spend a day with my friend J, my oldest (i.e., longest-running) friend. I met J when I was a junior in college and she was taking a tour of our campus. She came to school the next year, and the rest is history. Her mother is convinced that I led her down the road to ruin. She taught me the value of Coach purses. She has lived near me and far away. She gave me the honor of being the maid of honor at her wedding - and she has three sisters! Her husband is unbelievably cool, and they will celebrate their 20th anniversary next month. And she loves art.

We spent the day chatting and visiting the Impressionists exhibit at the Kimbell Museum in Fort Worth. We ate Mexican food, and she gave me some ultra-hip earrings. It was a great day, even though it was 105F. Seriously. We were in Texas, after all. We laughed, we ate, we drank beer. It was a great day. She even took me to meet my brother, sister-in-law, and sister-in-law's sister. We all drank - and laughed. It was a wonderful day.

On Sunday, I basically slept all day. It was beautiful.

If it gets any better than this, I don't need to know about it. It's a wonderful life!

I want to be Catwoman

When I was growing up in the 1960s, Batman was one of my favorite TV shows. (The Monkees and That Girl were other favorites, but let's save those for another day.) I identified most with Catwoman - Julie Newmar. While most aficionados say that Eartha Kitt was the best, Julie was the Catwoman for me. Let us not speak of Halle Berry and the abomination she made.

I am part cat. If it weren't for fleas, hairballs, and eating mice, I would want to be a cat. But litter boxes - and the impossibility of changing species - keep me being a woman. But I still like to cat around.

The reason Catwoman is on my mind is that I say The Dark Knight this weekend. I like Batman movies in general, but it has been a long time since I liked one this much. I skipped the Val Kilmer one (puh-lease), and Batman and Robin was scary (even with George Clooney and Uma Thurman). I saw Batman Begins mainly because Michael Caine was in it, and any movie with Michael Caine can't be that bad. But The Dark Knight was the best movie since Batman Returns, the movie that, not coincidentally, had Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.

Michelle was an outstanding Catwoman, channeling Julie Newmar all the way, and being even more catty. I want to be Catwoman.

If I wanted to be a Joker, however, I would channel Heath Ledger. What an amazing performance! I read the reviews and assumed that they were fawning because Heath is dead. But he really is as good as they say he was. I don't need to tell you that, because every person in America saw the movie last weekend.

Meow.

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Katalina

When Homer Simpson ate the "Merciless Peppers of Quetzaltenango - grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum," he went on a weird and wonderful journey through the desert and his brain.

When I ate the picante sauce that I made this year, I felt like Homer in that episode.

Each year, I cook up a batch of picante sauce for my personal stash and to enter in the State Fair of Texas. (Did I tell you that I won the blue ribbon in 1996? I'll never get tired of that story.) Anyway, I can never get it hot enough. Every year I add more peppers, and every year the salsa is warm but not hot.

This year, I added fresh cayennes to the mix. And I juiced the tomatoes so that I didn't need to cook the salsa as long as usual. (Cooking makes the peppers lose their heat, so a short cooking time is a good thing.)

When I tasted the salsa during the cooking process, I burned the taste buds off my tongue and was unable to taste anything for about 24 hours. But canning mellows the salsa, so I still didn't have much hope.

Until today.

After opening a jar today, I realized that I have reached the Homer in the desert level. The salsa literally made the side of my head tingle and stay warm for hours. Hours!

I didn't see Johnny Cash (like Homer did), but I was in a trance-like state for the rest of the day.

Viva el chile!

P.S. To learn more about Homer's voyage, click here.

Always Moisturize

Moisture is a bit of an obsession for me. I am part amphibian, I drink 1-2 gallons of water every day, and I spend more on moisturizer than should be allowed by law. But I don't have many wrinkles, so it is worth it.

When I went to the hospital for a 5 night stay, I took my toothbrush and my moisturizer. I came home with a 9" scar, but no new wrinkles.

So it should come as no surprise that last night I dreamed that I had died. When they told me I was dead, I replied, "I can't be dead. I don't have my moisturizer." I mean, who wants to be a wrinkled ghost?

Bo-ring

Q: What is more boring than watching a baseball game between two teams that are not "your" teams?

A: Watching a baseball game between two teams that are not your teams while you have no beer. And they have a 56 minute rain delay.

Backstory: I was in New York City with He Who Shall Not be Named, visiting the hallowed Yankee Stadium before it is torn down. (They are tearing it down to move across the street to a new stadium that will be called - drumroll - Yankee Stadium.) We live in the city that invented covered sports stadiums so that weather will not affect the game. We don't know what to do during a rain delay. Normally, I would drink more heavily than usual, but this was a day game and I have learned not to drink in the sunlight. Beer, sun, and see-through skin make a bad combination.

We were at the stadium for a total of 5 1/2 hours. Then we had dinner at the ESPN Zone. Then we went to another baseball game at another stadium in NY that is being torn down so that the team can move to a new stadium next to the old stadium. That's enough baseball for a while.

The Monday game was better for several reasons:

• I was drinking. Yes, beer is expensive in NYC, but not much more costly than it is in the sports venues in Houston. And besides, I learned my lesson the day before - baseball without beer is boringball.


• We were at Shea Stadium - the home of the first stadium concert ever. By the Beatles, of course. It is hallowed ground indeed. That will be gone in October.


• It was a night game, so the crowd was more fun.


• I was drinking.