Kathy's Choice Awards - 2006 (Part 1)

I have never understood who appointed the Oscar committee or how they choose what movies are the "best" each year. Many, many of their choices make no sense. "The English Patient" was the best picture of the year? Give me a break.

Several years ago, "they" came up with the People's Choice Awards. But they never asked me what I thought. So here is the first installment of the inaugural Kathy's Choice Awards.

Today's awards are for the best overall movies. Granted, 2006 was not a great year for movies, but a few were really good. Taking a page from the Golden Globes, we will have a winner for drama and another for musical comedy.

The drama winner is "The Departed." (See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407887/)
This violent story of corrupt cops, mobsters, and honest cops is one of the best movies in years. I love Martin Scorsese movies, and this is one of the best. Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, and the omnipresent Alec Baldwin give great performances. I did not want this movie to end. It was that good. It should get a boatload of awards.

The musical/comedy winner is "Little Miss Sunshine." ( See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449059/)
Everybody loves a story about dysfunctional families, and this is the story of one very dysfunctional family on a road trip. The movie has a lot of famous actors, but the real star is Little Miss Sunshine herself, Abigal Breslin as Olive. She is a bright, honest girl caught in a crazy family and a bizarre beauty pageant. When I saw this at the theater, I hurt myself laughing. The Volkswagen bus reminded me of the many crap cars we had when I was growing up (including a Volkswagen bus). Do yourself a favor and rent this movie if you haven't seen it yet. It probably won't win too many awards because it is offbeat and independent, but Olive deserves a Best Supporting Actress statue.

Next up - the worst movies of 2006.

Ode to Dark Chocolate Cellas

Your sweet, sweet goodness come but once a year.
For ten months, I dream of the dark chocolate case,
Clear liquid filling,
And perfect cherry center.
No messy white stuff here.

November heralds your arrival.
It is my favorite time of year.

Why? Oh why?
Why is Target not carrying you this year?
I have checked two stores, with no luck.
Thank goodness for CVS
Where the shelves are stocked.
Kroger carries your cousin
Milk chocolate Cellas.

No other candy is as good as you.
I can't eat just one - or two.
It's a good thing that you disappear in January
Or I would weigh 350.

Movie Review - Fast Food Nation

I feel compelled to tell everyone - do not see this movie! It is terrible.

I read the book, which was quite good. It exposed the nasty side of American fast food - literally the shit in the meat. It also showed how big corporations exploit the workers, particularly the vulnerable ones - illegal immigrants and teenagers. The book was lucid, coherent, and compelling.

The movie was a mish-mash of stories that were supposed to intersect but did not. It tried to put faces to the evil meat packers, the illegal immigrants, the corporate shills, and the exploited teens. But it was so disjointed, slow, and boring that it just didn't make sense.

Do yourself a favor - read the book and skip the movie.

I think this is what they call a MeMe

Because it's all about ME!

• What is your occupation? Marketing diva
• What color are your panties right now? White
• What are you listening to right now? A basketball game
• What was the last thing that you ate? A delicious dinner at Chuy’s
• Can you drive a stick shift? Nothing but – my 350Z convertible wouldn’t be the same with an automatic transmission
• If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red
• Last person you spoke to on the phone? My sister Faith
• Do you like the person who sent this to you? Of course! My sister-in-law Brenda
• How old are you today? 46
• Favorite drink? Alcoholic, beer. Non-alcoholic, Caffeine Free Diet Coke
• What is your favorite sport to watch? NBA basketball
• Have you ever dyed your hair? Are you joking? Have I ever NOT dyed my hair?
• Pets? No
• What was the last movie you watched? “Man of the Year” with Robin Williams
• Favorite day of the week? Saturday and Sunday
• What do you do to vent anger? Drink beer or eat something (too much)
• What was your favorite toy as a child? Books. Once a nerd, always a nerd.
• What is your favorite fall or spring? Fall. My birthday, the State Fair, the start of cooler weather, and the start of basketball season
• Hugs or kisses? Hugs
• Cherries or Blueberries? Both!
• Living arrangements? He Who Shall Not Be Named
• When was the last time you cried? Don’t remember – it was a long time ago
• What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and filing
• What did you do last night? Watched DVDs of “Lost” Season 1 with HWSNBN
• Favorite smells? Cilantro
• What inspires you? My family – siblings and nephews (and now a niece)
• What are you afraid of? Losing my job and having to move in with a parent
• Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Veggie burger with cheese and extra pickles
• Favorite dog breed? Corndogs at the State Fair
• How many years at your current job?
• How many states have you lived in? 1--Just Texas
• Favorite holidays? Any of them that include food and candy (Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day)
• Ever driven motorcycle or heavy machinery? No. I nearly killed myself on a bicycle, so I don’t need to tempt fate.

(courtesy of my sister-in-law, Brenda)

Things that bother me

I am the first to admit that I am old school. But some things were just fine the way they were and don't need to change. Take alphabetization. When I was in school, we were taught to alphabetize by last name.

Jones, Tom

But now many applications alphabetize by first name:

Tom Jones

I will never get used to this. And why did it change anyway?

My biggest pet peeve is when "The" is considered in the alphabetization. Like a list of movies that reads:

Kazaam
The Godfather
Under the Rainbox

AARRGGHH!

What if?

What if our purpose in life was a single, seemingly meaningless, encounter?

About 10 years ago, I was standing in a long line to get Hakeem Olajuwon (basketball star) to sign a copy of his biography. A woman and child approached me and asked for directions on how to get somewhere. I told them, and they thanked me and left.

But it made me wonder - what if my only purpose in life was to be in that exact spot, at that exact time, to help that exact person?

Think about it. If this is the way it works, the last 10 years have been icing on the cake for me.

Pain

Hernia surgery hurts. Don't be fooled by "laparascopic patients can return to work in a few days." Yeah, maybe if you can work while stoned out of your brain on painkillers. OK - maybe answering the phone at the cable company or working at the local pharmacy would allow you to be that stoned. Like my pharmacy, where I called three times asking if my prescription was ready and being told each time that it was not. Then my friend drove over there and it had been sitting in the bin for over 24 hours!

Yeah, those people are stoned, and probably not on the legal stuff.

I don't know what it would feel like to be hit across the abdomen with a baseball bat, but that's how I think I feel now.

My goal is to NOT HAVE SURGERY ever again. Or at least in this decade. Or at least not again this year.